My then 18 year old never came to the hospital and has only recenetly discussed any of my treatment and ongoing checkups etc. (diagnosed in August 20007)because his girlfriend asked about it. I was very angry at him for a long time but I have come to realise that it was his way of managing. I know that he will be no different if it ever comes back. My younger son was, and still is, very different - loving and thoughtful and needing to discuss what had happened to me. What cancer teaches us is that everyone responds differently to the diagnosis and treatment, both patients and those around us. I think it has taught me to be more tolerant and accepting in many ways. ... View more

My then 18 year old never came to the hospital and has only recenetly discussed any of my treatment and ongoing checkups etc. (diagnosed in August 20007)because his girlfriend asked about it. I was very angry at him for a long time but I have come to realise that it was his way of managing. I know that he will be no different if it ever comes back. My younger son was, and still is, very different - loving and thoughtful and needing to discuss what had happened to me. What cancer teaches us is that everyone responds differently to the diagnosis and treatment, both patients and those around us. I think it has taught me to be more tolerant and accepting in many ways. ... View more

My then 18 year old never came to the hospital and has only recenetly discussed any of my treatment and ongoing checkups etc. (diagnosed in August 20007)because his girlfriend asked about it. I was very angry at him for a long time but I have come to realise that it was his way of managing. I know that he will be no different if it ever comes back. My younger son was, and still is, very different - loving and thoughtful and needing to discuss what had happened to me. What cancer teaches us is that everyone responds differently to the diagnosis and treatment, both patients and those around us. I think it has taught me to be more tolerant and accepting in many ways. ... View more

Hi leeanne, I had simiar surgery- left hemi-coloectomy, but no stoma in August 2007. It was followed by 6 months of chemo. I won't lie, it wa the worst 6 months of my life but I am still here! Hang in there and keep taking deep breaths to help you through whatever is thrown at you. ,Take care, Samex ... View more

Hi , Yes the weight gain is a problem for some of us. I lost 9 kilos due to surgery and a complete bowel shut down but then when I started chemo, the steroids meant that carbs were the poison of choice and the fatigue meant that just getting to the corner shop and back was huge. While others faded away(not that is ideal either) I'd rock up to the clinic each fortnight having successfully added a kilo. That was 4 years ago and as I am a stress eater, I am still struggling to take off the weight. I am back at full time teaching but I retire in July 2012. I am convinced that when my life settles down to a lower level of stress and my son has completed his HSC (he's not stressed!) then healthy life here I come. Hope that it isn't too late! I guess my message is not be too hard on yourselves. take it a step at a time. I truly believe that we all approach our diagnosis, treatment and recovery in a completely individual way. For some the completely health conscious diet with all of the appropriate exercise is right for them. For others it is merely managing from one day to the next and if a piece of toast allows you to manage the nausea, then so be it. I have managed to lose about 5-6 of the kilos that I put on and have about 10 to go to reach a "healthy" weight which I know is critical for bowel cancer. But I have learned that it has to be slow and steady. Take deep breaths and don't beat yourself up about the carbs! Take care, Samex ... View more

Feeling the sun on your skin (without the associated photosensitivity!) is the best!!!! While we often try to cram in as much as possible due to the fear that we may miss out on something but the sun on the face, the anonymity and the ordinariness of life is wonderful. So pleased that you had a great day. S ... View more

So well put Harker. It is interesting that you don't see her as a close friend, but cancer is a funny thing in that some of the friends who yuo thought you could rely on back away and others come to the fore. Maybe that is where you come in. Your friend may not message you back all the time. It is hard to respond when you aren't well some times. I'm sure that she will be appreciative of the fact that you got in touch. Everyone reacts diffeetnly to their time with cancer and it may be that she just needs some of her own time at this point. To qualify harker's points a little, as the 'sick person' we are often expected to have cheery disposition and present to the world that all will be fine, when actually we are feeling physically and emotionally like crap. I guess what I am trying to say is that, your friend may behave in ways that you may not understand or expect. just have patience and let her know perhaps that you are ready to meet when she is ready. Hope some of this helps. ... View more

As a survivor, I have now come to realise how difficult it also is for those around us. One of the best things that friends did for me was to take me on 'airings'. They would pick me up and take me out for the morning, afternoon or whole day if I was well enough. They were also really good with not being offended if I cancelled at the last minute if I wasn't up to it. One day morning tea turned into a Thelma and Louise expedition for the whole day! I was buggered the next day but we had a lovely time. Another thing that I really appreciated was when this same friend timed the arrival of stupid cards for the week of treatment. So many times I arrived home after 4-5 hours in hospital/clinic to find a card with her handwriting on the front. They were always funny and often a birthday card with the birthday message crossed out but the rest of it was what cheered me up. Another friend would occasionally turn up with 'care'packages. Just a gift bag filled with inexpensive goodies. It was really thoughtful. Sorry, I seem to have rambled on. Maybe if you aren't the cuddly type, you can show that you care in other more practical or light hearted ways. When I was so ill on chemo, it was great when you knew that someone recognised this and acknowledged it. I'm sure that you will be fine. ... View more

The positives allow us to keep on going. Good to hear. take care. S ... View more

Hi Tim, I cannot stand Maccas normally - once a year when I am trully desperate and it is the only thing open. When I was on chemo I craved cheeseburgers - not just any Macas - had to be cheeseburgers. At least they were cheap! The slowing down is hard when you are used to being busy but just try to trust how you feel. good luck to you with it all. S ... View more