Words seem rather hollow but please take all of our thoughts with you and Wazza.Thank you for trusting us enough to share this time. Take care, Samex ... View more

Hi guys, As a bowel cancer survivor, these comments touched a chord.It snuck up in me but I was having all the right checks(family history etc). What I did though, was as a working Mum, left myself until last and until I was so ill that I had to something about it. I was finally admitted to hospital on the Thursday but had been in an emergency on the Monday night with severe pain, had X-rays and an enema so felt a bit better and took myself back to school (teacher) by 7.45 the next morning despite the pain. I had emergency surgery on the weekend. I was my own worst enemy. So perhaps it is rethinking our lifestyles and sense of obligations to everyone else that has to change and maybe start being more aware of what out bodies are saying. What scares me now, is that I can see myself heading down the path of falling into my old ways - family and school first - me last. I have to give that some thought but maybe as a society we have to give some thought? Any ideas, S ... View more

Hi Sally, I don't know where to start except that I am sharing Amanda's tissue box. The body and spirit have to be separate (and I am not religious)as this could be the only explanation for what has happened to so many of us. Every night I "talk" to my friend who I lost last year - my "chemo buddy" and while that may sound crazy, like this forum, the often only momentary chat acts as a sounding board. I also call him and my other angel (lost 4 and 1/2 years ago) when I need some guidance to help me through the really alone patches. I was so touched , from the beautiful image that you created, by the dignity of your children and the love that you all must share. Perhaps your experiences teach us all that we must view life from a number of perspectives in order to make some sense of it all. Thank you for sharing those precious moments with us. Give your kids a hug, Samex ... View more

Hi guys, When I was intreatment I promised myself that I would keep a Journal but never did - fear? Too ill and tired? Who knows? Anyway, the idea of writing has tweaked my curiosity and I feel may well help me to come to terms with all of this. I am going to be very busy with work for the next two weeks but I feel that the group may be one that I would like to be involved in, so when I am back in "normal" land I will take your advice and contact Kate. By the way, one of my hats is an English teacher and I PROMISE not to do corrections! Also I am nowhere near as clever as guys with the quotes. Just keep them coming. Thanks for the invite, S ... View more

Hi Harker, Out of curiosity - are your writings works of fiction or do they stem from this crazy life we have been led into kicking and screaming? Either way, I always seem to be able to identify with some aspect of yout musings and thoughts. I too went for the jugular when I had recently returned to work (high school teaching) and the rotten sods wouldn't give me a seat on the bus to an excursion.My rather terse language soon had 2 kids feeling very guilty and offering me their seats! I did feel a bit bad aftewards, but I was still a bit wobbly on the pins and din't want to stand in a bus! Keep up the wonderful "stories". Samex ... View more

Brilliant Nikki! Congratulations. This is the type of news we all want to hear. We don't want to hear from you for a while - just enjoy your beautiful boy!! Samex ... View more

Hi Sallyz, My very great friend lost her husband and soul mate 4 and a half years ago. She and her daughters still grieve but they have tried very hard to make lives for them selves (her girls are in their 20's). Often I still notice a cloud pass her face when someone mentions their husband or partner and my heart goes out to her as it does for you. I beleive that she felt like yourself, that she was somewhere in no-man's land and that she felt part of her stopped when Pat died. As a survivor, like Harker ( a man of such wisdom), I too feel a sense of dislocation at times but cannot possibly compare it to your grief. Maybe there is some kind of realisation that you will never be your old self and that things have irrevocably changed will help you to come to terms with what your life is now. My friend has never been bitter or angry abut her husband( I was and it was before I was diagnosed), just very, very sad. Perhaps trust those family and friends who are really true to you and try to imagine how your husband would have wanted you to live, for live you must (excuse the cliche). Like we survivors and my friend, this awful experience makes us realise how special every day is and how important those who love us really are. Take care, samex ... View more

There has to be hope or what is the point? Thinking of you, Samex ... View more

As a dance teacher, I went to find this but unfortunately it has been taken off due to copyright reasons. Pity, I would have liked to have seen it. Samex ... View more

Hi Thaker, I am due for the three monthly bloods and ct and visit to my oncologist in 3 weeks and I tremble inwardly every time I feel a little off colour or something hurts but I have to believe that it will all be ok and deal with it if it isn't. Your hubby is very lucky that he has you to be with him and share (is that the right word?) the anxiety. I'm afraid my husband feels that the treatment is over and that it is all behind us now and I tend to do all the followups on my own. Each of us deals with it differently, I guess. Make sure that you take some time for yourself and be sure to meet that appointment with the counsellor. You will probably be of more benefit to everyone once you do. In saying that, I can't imagine how you must have felt when the rug was pulled from under you, but what I have found is that when all else fails, there is always someone to listen to you without judgement in this forum. Lots of hugs and take care, Samex ... View more