Wazza is lucky to have you. Do you have someone that you can pour out your fears to as you seem to stay so strong for him. Thinking of you, Samex ... View more

Hi Sailor, I had both drugs - not sure if it was folfox 6or7 and oxaliplatin. I found that by the 9th or 10th cycle (of 12) I had very limited feeling in my fingers and it often extended to my hands. My feet have been a longer standing problem. I finished treatment in April 2008 and I still have a loss of feeling in my toes, particularly when I exercise, ironically.When the neuropathy kicked in, my feet were very sore and I was only able to wear "sensible" shoes. Massage helped. With my hands I had great difficulty with anything requiring fine work and my hands also shook quite badly for the days after treatment. I was making beaded jewellery and wasn't able to continue, for example. This tended to coincide with the neuropathy that can occur in your throat - a sensitivity to cold. Didn't have anything over room temperature for 6 months! I have operated on the theory that I may have been left with this residual neuropathy but it is a better option than the alternative. I'm not sure what kind of tactile work your friend does but I found that the fatigue was a far greater impediment to working than the neuropathy. I am a teacher and after a month I was incapable of working at all. Lots of nanna naps instead. Hope that my experience has been of some help. The neuropathy seems to be very individual in its effects, however. My best wishes to your friend and the difficult decision they are making, Samex ... View more

Hi, I too am a little astounded that anyone who has experienced this does not consider any kind of malignancy a "real" cancer. $ years ago my husnband had 2 melonomas removed. Fortunately there was no need for any further treatment and there have been no other nasties. But even though he wasn't a talker we both were awake all night he was diagnosed with the fear. When my "turn" came in 2007, the same fear was there and I began to understand his fear - even though he was often reluctant to express it. Both our cancers were real. Like you Butterfly, I need to talk and, yes, I am grateful for this forum to allow us to unreservedly state our fears and hopes and genuinely respect those of everyone else. Sailor, my very close friend died the day I was flying up to Ballina to see him in hospital and I missed him. How I would have loved one more day with my "chemo buddy". Samex ... View more

You are an inspiring person Harker and when I read your thoughts it makes me glad that I found this site. I think my parents would have thrown the phone book away as well or my dad would have taken it for me I think. They were devastated by me illness. But hey, I am now working on pushing that damn phone book further and further away as well and beginning to get on with the important things, always being aware of the fact that it may return and that I may still lose friends but I will make the most of now. Thanks again, Samex ... View more

Hope that your holiday was fabulous!! Samex ... View more

Hi Mary, I am the survivor and unfortunately my husband isn't a talker and we did very little discussion of what was improtant until recently. I was diagnosed nearly 2 years ago but I am doing rellay well at the moment. As a woman, perhaps you can anticipate a little more how you can help him day to day. Perhaps you are able to read when he needs help and when he wants to be left alone. I know that I was always thrilled when any one gave me small trinkets or thoughtful gifts - nothing grand but just something that showed that they acknowledged that I was struggling.Anticipating a need for a cuppa maybe. I think that just being there and trying to encourage him to voice or write down his feelings or fears and hopes is really important. I found that when we talked about when treatment was finished I felt that I could keep going. If this is hard (as it was for my husband)then make sure that you have someone to talk to or have a cry with. I think that he sounds very lucky to have you as a part of this time in his life. Lots of hugs, Samex ps I couldn't agree more if he has to have a picc line. Make sure that is in the arm next to the outside of the bed. They can get quite painfuland irritated after a while. ... View more

I had a conversation with my HT at school as she was asking about the terminology of cancer. I realised at that point that there is a specific jargon that is used and I have found after reading your post, Harker, that "living with cancer" really helps me to undersatnd what we do everyday. The conversation was prompted by her asking whether I regard it as a past or present tense condition. ie do I say that I have cancer or that I had cancer. I actually then spent the weekend thinking about it and didn't really have good answer. Your philosophy is the one that I think I will go with. There we have it, a moment!! Cheers, Samex ... View more

So often the posts here bring me to tears but this one certainly brought a smile! May I add that when in treatment *that the card entitles you to have someone carry your groceries in from the car. *not to cook dinner for the family as you can't stomach anything other than vegemite toast. *cheap airline tickets, not just when the sales are on. Out of treament *foot rubs to deal with the neuropathy ... View more

A great conversation and one that perplexed me even before I became sick as I had 2 close friends diagnosed before me. One was definitely industrial related. I won't mention the company but it was BIG and they settled out of court. My husband worked with this guy(hence the friendship)and was exposed to the same chemicals as were hundreds of others. The only explanation that was given to my friend who was extraordinarily fit, didn't smoke and ate well, was that he was unlucky or that there was a possible predisposition to lung cancer and the factors all combined. Personally, I feel that there may be a link to stress but this wasn't the case for this friend. While I have a family history of bowel cancer, the geneticists are still trying to work out whether mine was the inherited type. I haven't got my head around all the terminology yet.I had a stressful job (teaching)and was overweight but that was probably linked to stress as well. I had had a colonoscopy 2 years before my dx due to my family history and was clear. My 30mm tumour grew in 2 years - go figure!I understand that there has been established a strong link between weight and exercise and bowel cancer but I think we have to be careful to ensure that we don't lay guilt on ourselves. Sailor, I do enjoy your quotes at the end of each post!! Samex ... View more

Thanks guys. I guess it does relate to the idea of your overall self confidence and maybe broaches the idea put forward somewhere else that are there too many of us who are young (and many of you guys are so much younger than me) getting cancer. My parents didn't seem to lose as many frineds as I have to cancer in their 50's or younger. I shall no go out and enjoy tomorrow guilt free!! Woohoo Samex ... View more