@mensana sending you a cyber hug ... sometimes a hug says more than words ever could... and this coming from someone who would never hug a stranger 🙂 I think a stranger with Cancer getting a hug via cyberspace is allowed under my hug rules 🙂 Stay strong. Expect the best and though you stay aware that it might not turn out that way but you have to allow for that possibility and not just focus on a bad outcome - I believe you get what you focus on most times - unless it was something that was never meant to be for you... Don't let the handing of Advance Personal Plan papers scare you - I believe this is offered to everyone - even me 🙂 And my oncologists are confident on a good outcome for me - but I still got handed those papers too... so don't dwell on them and think the worst... How about think they CAN do surgery, and they DO do surgery and it works for you? Dreams are allowed 🙂 Go for the best ones. You know another way to look at this is even if you dream for the best outcome and be positive and feel glad inside that you are going to have this best outcome, even if it does not turn out that way at the end, in the meantime your positive outlook made you feel better during a trying time and isn't feeling better about a situation, a nicer way to 'be', than feeling doomed and stressed and afraid etc? You might not have any control of your physical illness and planned treatments and eventual outcome BUT you have complete control over your own mind and how you want to handle each day. Your days can be miserable to match your illness OR they can be lighter, almost but not quite normal, where you focus on pretending you feel healthy, happy and great. Where there is life, there is hope - and judging by the fact you are posting It's a good bet that you're alive 🙂 So just tell your medical team okay, I'm aware of the worst that can happen, but let's aim for the best that can happen and I leave that in your capable hands 🙂 Don't know if this will help you but I'd like to share an analogy that always helps me in life - in every situation and including my current one... it's the one about the man who felt sorry for himself because he had no shoes, until he met the man who had no feet. Sure to others, my friends, I am clearly the man with no feet to them, but from where I stand, I have feet. For me a person with no feet is a fellow cancer sufferer who is only young... a young mother with a couple of small children, who maybe do not have a father because he left, died, and left her a single mother to raise 2 young children and now she has cancer and may die and maybe she also has no family to look after her babies when she dies... now THAT is someone with no feet in my book. Back to your email... wow 12 weeks... book it and if you find you don't need to speak to them in 12 weeks time you can always cancel. Sorry about my long email... I'm a touch typist and type as fast as I think 🙂 Feel better - sending you positive vibes x Donna ... View more

@mensana milk that great feeling for all its worth! I'm a great believer in mind over matter... my oncology team (Drs AND nursing team) keep asking me every day if I'm in pain YET and reminding me they have some great drugs waiting for me etc... and I just say no I'm great... just take a couple of panadol if I have to and they just look at me like I have 2 heads. You see, I decided right at the beginning I was going to experience this on my terms... just because others had certain experiences did not mean that had to be mine. I actually told my oncology doctors that and they agreed with me - and once they did that it reinforced my belief. Which is my way of saying use how you are feeling to your advantage 🙂 x My dog and I got lost on a bush walk last weekend and ended up truding thru swampy bit along the river edge and I had the wrong shoes on and my dog had a smile a mile wide, loving it, and I got smacked in the face with a tree branch and cracked up laughing... it was so silly... and I loved every muddy, face slapping, cobweb-walking-into, mozzie biting minute 🙂 Like you, that experience totally made me forget I had cancer and having treatment and that I should be tired... I was just having fun... so I think I know what you mean... maybe you can talk your friend to go out again with you... or another friend... Here's to you feeling better every day! x Donna ... View more

@mensana I'm so sorry! I wish I could say something that would make a difference but our English language doesn't have sentences/words for situations like this - except perhaps for a select few swearwords that wouldn't be appropriate in print... Donna x ... View more

@mensana Yes I took up private health insurance when my husband died of cancer 6 years ago. We had let it go because it got too expensive but then he had to go thru as a public patient... my private health insurance enabled me to be fasttracked through the system... I have one of the States best ENT surgeons whose public waiting list is over 18 months long! I saw him immediately. Had surgery straight away and soon as that healed went straight into treatment. I know some who are going thru as public patients and attending government hospitals and not the private clinic I attend... they also get some expensive medications for free while I have to pay... but they also wait a long time to see their specialists who are nobody special and aren't looked after anywhere near as good as I am. My private health only covered my in hospital expenses and not my treatment. I pay a gap that medicare doesn't cover and pay for my own medications and specialist appointments. Thank god I had savings! And I have regular appts without waiting for my oncology doctors too... and my ENT surgeon has already made my booking in advance to see him after treatment. As I said, he has an 18 month waiting list of public patients who want to see him... These "savings" were going to be part of my retirement when the time comes... I won't have that money now but at least I'll be alive. I have much to be thankful for. ... View more

@mensana Good to hear things are starting to happen for you... may I ask if you're going thru as a private or public patient? I see there is quite a difference... I'm funding myself (used all my savings 😞 ) but they have fasttracked me so quick my head hasn't stopped spinning and they treat me like royalty but from what I've heard from people doing it thru th epublic system its nothing for them to wait months or more than a year for treatment and follow ups... ... View more

Just wanted to thank everyone for their kindness and supportive posts at a time when I was feeling a bit low.  I've gotten a grip again and  not feeling so helpless as I was at the time of initially writing this message.  Was almost going to delete it because I don't like signs of weakness in myself but then I thought it might help someone else so I left it there...   I am trying to be proactive and make choices that put me back in the driver's seat as much as possible.  I have always been self sufficient and self reliant... at my age now its a bit hard to start and be anything else...  This is a good thing though because with no family here and doing this on my own can you imagine what a mess I might be if I was not the way I am 🙂    I can imagine my hubby up in heaven looking down and agreeing 🙂   I think a turning point for me was being offered the cold cap thing which saves your hair from falling out with chemo... it IS freezing... it IS unpleasant but if it means I keep my hair, even 50% of it, for me that is worth it.  So I have chosen to suffer a bit more for a good reason 🙂   They told me some women can't stand the cold and actually give up on it... fortunately for me, giving up isn't in my nature...    My dad always used to go around telling us things like, laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone...  funny how I remember things like that these days but I think it helps keep me in check.  After all, I am still alive.  There are millions in the world who don't have cancer and who are worse off than me.   I am always remembering the analogy about the man who felt sorry for himself because he had no shoes... until he met the man who had no feet.   Snaps me out of anything negative I might have been feeling, every time.   Anyhow,  as usual, I am waffling... sorry 🙂  Thank you everyone for your very kind support!  And I hope you are all enjoying a safe and if not healthy Easter, then as enjoyable an Easter as you are able!   xxx Happy Easter Donna     ... View more

@Pops Thanks Jilly... sounds like a great resource. i will check it out... I don't know when but I definitely will! xxx ... View more

@JJ42 Hi Jane! Thank you so much for your nice reply to me. I'm still in a bit of a state of overwhelm at the moment because I am still working - well that is, I am allowed to work from home but I have to try and fit it in and that is a struggle at the moment and I still haven't visited my local cancer support group and I was given their details 3 weeks ago! I know... I'm being very slack. I'm doing this on my own - as I realize do so many others - but it just makes it that little bit more of a challenge I think to motivate yourself to do stuff when all you want to do is lie down 🙂 I will get around to checking out the resource you mentioned. It sounds wonderful. Thanks again xxx ... View more

@laura-nswcc Thanks for this! I'm in WA and someone recommended the NSW forum to me 🙂 ... View more

@sch Thanks "S" ... perfect advice! thank you xx ... View more