I agree... with your life as it is there sounds like there is little joy and little to look forward to - and whether you had cancer or were fighting fit and healthy, my first thought would be "get out of there".  You need to be with people who really care about you and listen to you.  If nobody does, you may be better off alone!  There are many of us it appears who are doing this alone.  If I had the choice of horrible family or as I am - alone - I do believe I'd pick alone.  Because I can choose my own friends, I know there are people who care and who will help me if I ask... and I am away from negative, using, abusive people.  There are very nice, caring people online here who I don't even know but whose replies make me feel better... and not alone.     Back to you... Your life is worth something.  YOU are worth something.  YOU are worth fighting for.  Once you realize that you may find the strength to do something...  a wonderful and exciting new life, a new adventure for you, can be yours if you choose...  for all you know there may be others in similar positions who would, just as an example, love to move out from where they are and share with someone else who understands and who may even be in similar shoes... or who has a place and has a room they'd be happy to rent out with a caring other person... and that person could be you.   Could you move back with your own family?   Otherwise, have you tried talking to your husband about this?  I have a friend whose heart is in the right place but her behaviour now that I have cancer sounds very similar to your husband's.  I am constantly reminding her I am not an invalid and having cancer has not suddenly made me a two year old, brain dead, idiot who doesn't know what they're doing!  She treats me like that and I hate it.  I have taken to sneaking out to appointments without telling her because she insists on coming along and basically embarrassing me by interfering and telling nurses etc things that she has no right saying - even they look at her sideways and wonder who she thinks she is.  Could be your husband thinks he is protecting you and doesn't know he has overstepped the boundaries...?  Although you have also said this is an act for your family's benefit?     If you are so unhappy there why are you still there?  Your life IS worth fighting for but only you can steer your ship... nobody else can do that for you even if they try. And if they get away with trying to steer your ship it's only because you have stepped aside and let them.  Take back your steering wheel...     And keep us informed... because although we've never met, it's clear many of us do care. xx     ... View more

Even when you're alone in your current every day life, in a spiritual sense you are never alone and if that doesn't resonate, that's fine, but know also you are not alone because there are total strangers online here - some of us are also alone - who care... I'm about to start chemo and radiotherapy combined so I can't speak yet from experience with what I'm about to face, let alone 10 years worth but I do know the totally alone thing... I suspect I'm not wise enough to be able to say the right words right now that you need to hear... so just sending you a big hug across cyber space... sometimes a hug says it all.  x  And I realize that when you are alone, it really is just a tiny drop in a huge ocean of despair. xxx  I mean well. ... View more

HI all... I haven't experienced the invisibility thing yet... have experienced the very uncomfortable, don't know what to say response thing though... one person actaully expressed their discomfort to me not knowing what to say.  I used to be the same way.  Even though I had lost my husband to cancer 5-6 years ago, I still didn't quite know what to say to people who had it.  Now I have it, I believe the best response for me and this is what I told the guy at work who expressed his discomfort at his failure to know the right response was just to say something like this - succinct and truthful:   "insert swearword of choice here",  that sux!   🙂  Might not work for everyone... but it works for me.   ... View more

HI... I'm in Western Australia, an hour south of Perth.  I have to have chemo and radiation therapy too... not looking forward to it but the surgical alternative is the stuff of nightmares so I'm actually feeling relieved that we are going to try chemo and radiation first...  happy to share "vents" with you!  And for what its worth, sending brilliant vibes and prayers your way as well... xx   ... View more

Hate saying welcome to the club 😞  Nobody wants to welcome anybody to the cancer club.  I have head and neck cancer - and for my pain I have a couple of different pills but I have a liquid which is my life saviour.  It's called OxyNorm.  I'd die without it.  It's the only thing that enables me to swallow anything without crying 🙂  I gather I won't be able to use it long term but for now it's my go-to every 4 hours... maybe ask them about it? ... View more

Thanks "Budgie"... I will go and look for it.  Thanks for all your advice and help! x ... View more

Hi Budgie,  it didn't go quite as expected.  The surgeon took out both my tonsils, the one with cancer in and the one without but he couldn't get the rest of my cancer inside my throat area and said the only way to reach it was to saw open my jaw bone and open up my face - and to demonstrate this delightful notion, he used his hands to imitate opening up a book... so naturally I was 100% behind his other suggestion that before he does that he will put me on chemotherapy and radiation therapy and use that other surgery as a last resort...    so now I am home healing from having my tonsils out... at my age  thats not something I ever thought I'd need!  So I just stay home and heal now until 9 March when I go back to my surgeon/team who will inspect their handiwork and lay out my plan for the next phase...    Thanks for asking and for your best wishes!  How are you doing?   ... View more

Yes I’m home now. They took out both tonsils but he said he couldn’t get the rest of the cancer and didn’t touch my lymph node either.  He said to get to the rest of the primary cancer would require sawing through my jaw bone and opening up my face and he used his hands imitating opening up a book, to reach it... so he said he would leave that drastic surgery as the very last option and he was arranging chemotherapy and radiation therapy but he was hopeful they would get it.   So I’m banking on his positivity that they will work... rather lose my hair than lose my life ... or my ability to talk or eat for that matter!  I’d like to know what happened to that cancer cure that was discovered some 30 or so years ago and a large pharma company bought it and I remember a news reader saying how now since a big pharma company had bought it they would be in a position to manufacture it big time and save a lot of lives.... but then it got buried and we never heard about it again.... and I keep seeing posts that there is no money to be made in curing cancer and I wonder.... 😞 ... View more