I just had a revelation.   Something that I have concluded to be a truth for over twenty years now, may not be a truth after all.  And this conclusion was suddenly so self giving.  Because for the belief to be validated, one would need to discount common sense altogether.   Colin ... View more

It's quite interesting, really. Without any real pain, I am constantly aware of this thing consuming me from the inside, so at this stage I'm getting an understanding of how cancer actually works. It intrudes and disrupts the normal function of things, causing mild cramping along the way, at this stage, anyway, and my guess is that those intrusions will only intensify over the next few months, until, well, you know.   It's not an unbearable pain by any means, but it is the sort of pain that two years ago would have seen me racing off to the docs for some answers. Now, of course, I just accept it for what it is.   On a positive note, I've nearly finished a book I've been working on for over two years.  I'm not spruiking it, I just write for fun, but I will point out that impending death does play with your mind quite a bit and that is emerging clearly in the words that I write.   Words are a powerful tool, probably the most powerful there is. Just as they can be of incredible benefit, unfortunately they can start wars, destroy relationships, and people, generally. I need to write to a few people, my family in particular, including my kids from my first marriage. And I'm not talking about emails. I'm talking about genuine, written, hard-copy words on pieces of paper.   For what it's worth, whenever I go to bed it takes me a while to get settled into a good breathing position and I panic a little. But when that sun comes up in the morning, and our cat does her thing and demands attention and food by knocking things off of the shelves, at least I know there is another day ahead, and that makes me feel good.   Enjoy your day, everyone. Whatever it all means, embrace life, and give your friends and family a big hug, just because.   Colin ... View more

Thanks BJ, I'll do that.  Many years ago, I saw orbs surrounding me. I was at work, and there  were about a dozen of them doing circles around me. I recall feeling calm, but mystified, as well, and after about ten seconds, just as I was about to ask the other workers if they could see them as well, they disappeared.   Over the following few  years, I mentioned this incident to a few people. It was an expected result - most seemed understanding, but a few were totally accepting of what I told them. Like many people, I suppose, I refuse to accept that our entire life experiences, all that accumulated energy, just disappear forever when we die. And strangely, despite the sadness I feel for those around me who I hold close, especially my wife, I'm interested in finding out where our souls do go once this vessel we call our body, is discarded.   Colin ... View more

Hi all, okay well this is interesting, I suppose. Since being told two days ago that I have four months left, my dreams have changed, in that they are continually interrupted by two words that wake me up every time. The two words are 'four months'.   It's hard to explain, but the words are like a reset switch. The connection is obvious, but because I'm asleep, I have no control over when the words will hit me. There's nothing sinister in them, in fact they are innocuous, it's just that they keep jolting me out of dreams.   As I said, I'll keep jotting these things down.   Colin ... View more

Hi, Linda, thanks for that.  Yeah it was a bit of a surprise when it spread so quickly at the last minute. But hey, it's not over yet. There's still some fight in this old dog yet. As for peace in my soul, I'm doing okay in that regard,  although when I look around me at what's happening in the world, it does make me wonder what the hell's going on with so many other souls out there.   I'll keep posting on this thread to let you know how things are going.  And thanks so much again for your comforting words and support.  I suppose if it's any consolation, they've put me onto morphine painkillers now, which are kind of fun 🙂   Colin ... View more

Thanks, BJ, yes it's such a horrible disease.  Good luck fighting yours. You've got the right attitude, and I'll send some positive thoughts your way.   Colin ... View more

Hello Linda, I'm so sorry for not having posted earlier. And yes, I'm fine, thank you very much for asking. I guess I've been soul-searching a bit lately. I'm going through a bit of a phase, I think. I've been trying to work out people, generally, including some of my immediate family members. Some things just aren't making any sense.   And I can't believe I forgot to let everyone know, I had an endoscopy a week and a half ago that showed a previously 4.6cm x 4cm tumour having now been reduced to just 2cm x 2cm. Unfortunately, though, the remainder is what is largely wrapped around the main artery. I suspected this was going to be the case.   But never mind, I'll keep stabbing away at this thing. If nothing else, at least it's on the decline 🙂   I hope you're well too, Linda, and everyone else, as well. I'll keep you posted.   Colin     ... View more

Thanks, WeGotThis, those dogs sound fantastic. And it's interesting you say that they like jumping on you and being lapdogs. My cat has changed of late. She has always been a bit standoffish, but lately she's been sitting quite close to me and doing lots of head bumps. I think animals know when one of their pack isn't well.   Colin ... View more

Thanks, Linda, it's all part of the journey, I suppose 🙄 ... View more