Zen-moment I really needed to hear what you said - that was so calming. We know we are being irrational but sometimes it feels too real to be ignored. I am going to try and talk myself into believing these pains are unrelated to cancer. I was never big on doctors,like my Mum. She ignored pain for years then had a massive heart attack. I ignored my stomach pain and swelling for 2 months before I sought help - now look at me!! 'Don't put things off' I vowed to myself - I'll give myself to tomorrow and if still worried I will go to GP - not really putting it off am I!! ... View more

Know what you are talking about samex - since I have been off chemo I have been having continuous pain in my right side - liver pain?? My sister said it is probably due to the extra things I have been doing - packing and unpacking boxes, hour walks with my dog to get to know the good walking areas, gardening, lifting, moving things - most quite cumbersome and also the amazing fall I had where every part of my body hurt for two days. I am with you - the rational side of my brain tells me the above reasons are causing the pain THEN good old irrational brain says its the cancer - my liver tumours have grown (even though I have only missed 1 chemo session). I should be having at least the Avastin for my liver.The other pain I am experiencing is in my stomach and then some more in my female parts- then the old lung - I had pain in my back this morning!! These sound like the rantings of a super hypochondriac and one does not have to be a psychiatrist to work that one out!!! Oh bloody hell it's not fair is it. Keep smiling and a new mantra - no pain no pain no pain..... ... View more

Hi Willow have a great time and do what I did on my little interstate holiday - think cancer free stress free worry free and just enjoy everything xxx ... View more

Chris I am so sorry that all of this is happening to you especially at this time when you are so worried about your Dad. Life can be an absolute s*** at times and when you think things can't get any worse - they do - as you are experiencing now. I'm not going to say - 'don't worry' because I have been there and I know you will. All I can say is listen to your doctors and ask questions - that was my mistake - I did not ask questions, just went along blindly with whatever I was told - my worry level sky rocketed! Please remember I and many others are thinking of you and hoping everything is not as gloomy as it seems now - of course it is a huge worry, as with me, these tests came out of nowhere and your mind does go numb/shuts down because it is too much to deal with when they hit you with results, then basically leave you floundering until the next appointment. I'm public too! It might be a good idea to get in touch with the cancer helpline - they may be able to answer a few questions and hopefully allay your fears. I plan to ring them tomorrow about my latest little horror! Please take care of yourself and we will talk soon. meeow ... View more

Hi Mopity I was diagnosed with advanced aggressive bowel cancer last August. I came through surgery successfully then a month later I started chemo - Capecitabine through a drip at the hospital, everything went great for about 4 weeks - no side effects whatsoever so I considered my self the luckiest person - that stopped suddenly - stomach problems, nausea, pain- anyway I continued on that and my Oncologist put me on oral chemo - Xeloda - which made me lose my appetite. Everything tasted disgusting and every time I tried to eat - to the toilet!!!! As a result I lost a lot of weight and was very weak. I have heard and read some great things about Xeloda - it targets and kills cancer cells - I was prepared to put up with the side effects but my doctors decided that they were too severe and took me off xeloda. One week off and I was feeling fantastic so they decided to keep me off it - as off it improved my quality of life. Since then - feeling wonderful - I had my 3rd scan since my operation- all optimistic - then shot down - I now have growths on one lung and my liver which had 14 tumours has responded well except for one which has increased in size. Now I am off the chemo infusion also - they have to determine why the chemo is helping my liver and not the lung and decide what course of action to take next. As my oncologist said 'new drugs,new side effects' - can't wait!! I am not sure if my life story helped you at all - sorry that I went on a bit(!). If you don't have horrid side effects stick with xeloda - I would. ... View more

Thanks Jules2 - I'd prefer green eggs and ham than tinned spam!!! ... View more

Thanks Julie - Felix answered also - me no understand spam - I thought it was that horrid meat in a can!!!! No I didn't but I really couldn't understand what was happening- der - thanks again ... View more

Could someone please tell me what the 'commercial post has been removed by the Administration Team as it breaches the terms and conditions etc etc'. I have seen this come up a couple of times and just wondered what it meant as I think one referred to me - re essay writing!!!!!?????? Thanks ... View more

Hi choc2rules - great name- welcome to this site - you will find wonderful,understanding and very caring people here. I certainly have and they have been a Godsend. I lost my Dad in 1990 to prostate cancer - he fought long and hard to stay with us but after 6 years it was too much for him. I understand your pain; not being able to help him is so difficult to cope with. You see and hear him in pain and it almost drives you crazy because there is not a damn thing you can do to relieve it. I have spent hours crying because I couldn't bear what was happening to him and all I could do was help him with the things he couldn't do, which sadly became more and more. I would sit on the end of his bed and we would talk and laugh and when that got too much I would head for my room and the tears just kept flowing. All this "he had a good life" etc etc is well and good for those saying it - but it does not mean much to us who are left behind. I am so sorry for your pain and I really hope that by sharing your story with us helps you cope that little bit more and realise that you are not alone in worrying about losing your dearly loved Dad. I have a weird sense of humour the same as my Dad and sister - I hope you don't think I am making light of your fear and pain - but when Dad died, one of our neighbours asked the most stupid question ever - "did he suffer". I could almost hear my Dad yelling out "of course I bloody well suffered - how would you like to go through this". Instead I lied and lied well to protect Dad's memory - "no" was my answer. The neighbour was a very kind man and it must have been hard for him to visit my sister and I as he and Dad were friends - so I hold no ill feeling about what I thought at the time was a very insensitive question. My Dad always found humour in just about everything and as I am now in a similar situation and have just received some news which I didn't really like about my cancer - I have to remember to laugh and as the Monty Python guys sang "always look on the bright side of life" - it is hard but just remember your Dad loves you and you love him - NO ONE can ever take that away. Take care and try to at least smile if you can't laugh! ... View more

larn I feel for you and I understand where you are coming from. I made several unsuccessful attempts to leave my husband back in the late 70's/early 80's and it was not until my Mum died in 1980 that I finally made the scariest decision I have ever made. In 1982- I finally left. Mentally I was shot but thank God I had the wonderful support of my Dad and my Sister - they helped me regain some sanity. I assume your relationship is not a violent one, physically, but it does sound as though it is mental and emotional cruelty - also a form of domestic violence. Just ask me - been through things the 'Underbelly' writers would have salivated over!! Sorry- I have learned to add humor to my demented past - it's the only way I cope- the wounds have healed, it takes time, but they do. All I can do is wish you the best possible life with your girls and that you finally find some peace in your health and thinking. Take care xxxx ... View more