Thanks Di. My bro and sis in law were with Dad this week and he's been better this week thank goodness. I'm with him next week and taking him to his next chemo. They gave Dad more space this week like he asked for and it worked well so I will do the same. I guess I've been hyper vigilant in a way. I try to make everything 'perfect', the house sparkling (Dad is very fussy like that!), making sure Dad has everything he needs every minute of every day etc, I think I've probably been giving Dad the shits to a degree heh. I've been feeling rather ordinary for a few days, glands swollen, throat a little irritated and sore so I'm laying low and praying I don't get sick!!! Can't be anywhere near Dad if I do :( My Dad is so sweet, he just rang to check on me saying he thought I sounded a bit yuk yesterday ... I'm so lucky to have such a beautiful Dad. Di, how are YOU travelling? (((hugs))) ... View more

OMG Julie, thank gawd Smiley is ok! Eeeeeek! JR's are definitely little dogs with BIG personalities and attitudes lol. When I first got him, he was a teeny tiny puppy, soooo gorgeous and my lab instantly fell in love like I did and he's had us wrapped around his paw ever since lol. My labby thinks she's his Mum and still gets him between her front paws and grooms him and he lays there with this huge grin on his face bwahaha, tough life huh. Give smiley and snuggle from me x ... View more

Oh Di I have tears in my eyes reading what happened to your furbaby 😞 I have a Jack Russell too! He's JRT x Foxy actually and looks a lot more like a Foxy, also have a black labrador. They are my heart & soul on 4 legs! We live just a few mins from the beach so we go there everyday and they just love it, my lab is a beautiful swimmer and would swim all day if I let her haha. My little boy is not as enthused about the water but when I get in he will swim out to me, it's so cute. Sorry, I'm right "off topic" ! ... View more

Hey You have nothing to apologise for! I'm sorry you have got any realistic or "doable" options for other family members to help 😞 My boss who has also become a very dear friend of mine is also ill with cancer and she's told me that it's often harder for loved ones than it is for the patient in that we feel like we can't DO anything, we feel helpless in watching our loved one suffer. My Dad agrees that he feels this journey is harder emotionally on us than him. How do I feel about the timeline. I've given that some thought and it is hard to answer. I knew Dad was termed "palliative" as in not curable so I knew he wasn't going to recover as such. My Dad was the one who asked for the timeline, he felt he needed to know. When he told me I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I had been apprehensive about if/when this day would come. When I got off the phone from my Dad I completely lost it. I was howling so loudly, I put the vacuum on. I rang my Mum and bawled my eyes out to her, saying how scared I am and that I'm not ready to lose my Dad :'( I am grieving my Dad now, he is still here of course and hope to god he proves the docs wrong and is still here for many years to come! It's kind of like when you're in a relationship that you know is coming to an end, you grieve before it's actually over. I hope I'm making sense. Basically, really trying to take it a day at a time and be in the moment, really really concentrating on not looking too far forward because I drop my bundle when I do that. I imagine your Mum and my Dad are scared of whats happening to them, they're worried about the effect this has on us and all their loved ones ... my Dad has a positive outlook to the cancer and really takes it one step at a time, concentrating on what needs to be done to feel better and stronger. I cannot imagine for a minute how he feels knowing death is imminent ... ok I'm crying again, sorry! Hey, we can be a good support to each other. Hugs again ... View more

(((( Hugs )))) meandma Oh hun, I empathise. My Dad can be stubborn with accepting help as well, I can only imagine how frustrating it is for our once independent parents to go through this and not be able to do the things they want to, even basic things sometimes. Perhaps you could get a home aide come in sometimes to help and your Mum would more easily accept help from them rather than you? I don't know really, just a suggestion. One thing I do know is, if we get don't look after ourselves in all this then we can't help our parents so I think it's important to have a break ... get other family members to come and care for Mum for perhaps a week and you get away and recuperate a bit, is that doable? ... View more

Hope someone has some response/advice. (((( Di )))) ... View more

Hi Di!! I agree it's pretty quiet here and I've SOOOO appreciated your responses to my thread :D I love goats, they're adorable! I have 2 dogs who think they're human ... shhhh, don't tell them they're not! ;) Sqweege ... View more

Hi Dave Thank you so much for your reply! I'm so sorry to hear you're a cancer sufferer and my heart goes out to you as well. As I said to Di, it's so good to be able to understand things from a cancer patient's P.O.V. My Dads personality has changed quite noticeably since the cancer returned and he's had more surgery and now the chemo etc ... so it is a shock to us to have this different Dad (in a way) but understandable also. We do have a bit of a joke about it and I've had a running joke with Dad for years now about the "Grumpy Old Men" movie and how well Dad would be able to relate to it lol .... so I will say "geesh ya grumpy old bugger" and wink at him and he will laugh. Positive thoughts for sure, thanks again Dave. ... View more

Wow Di, you're an amazing person, I'm so sorry you're struggling with cancer yourself (!!) and yet you take the time to support others in this way, thank you, you're a beautiful soul. I ended up having a great chat on the phone with my darling Dad last night and I feel I now "get" where he's 'at' with needing time alone to heal and cope with all that he's body is fighting. He said he needs to go into his "cave" right now and that he can't cope with having people around. So yes he needs someone there to prepare meals etc but apart from that he just wants to zone out, watch the tennis or cricket on tv, nap, read and that's it. I totally understand that need, as a sufferer of migraines and depression I get the same way (not that I'm suggesting it's in ANYWAY near similar to what my Dad is going through!!) I talked to my bro and tried to explain it to him but he insisted they still go down so I think really it's up to my Dad to talk to my brother so he can hear it straight from Dad, ya know? I asked Dad about bub (my 5mth old nephew) and that he feels its too much to cope with. Dads in an awful situation there because Dads cancer came back just as bub was born 😞 so he hasn't been able to really enjoy bub very much and he just hasn't got the energy to react to bub the way bubs parents want him to. Again, hopefully Dad can explain that to them one on one. It's SO good to understand it from a cancer patient's point of view Di so thank you SO much for that. I now realise that a change in mood etc is all part of it, god no wonder when you're fighting pain and feeling like you've been hit with a Mack truck!! I cannot thank you enough for your care and support and advice, you're an angel on earth xx ... View more

Hi meandma I can totally relate to what you're going through with your beloved Mum. My Dad has (incurable) lung cancer and has just been told he has "8-18mths". I've posted about it in the friends and family forum (I think it's called?) It's very difficult watching someone you love so much suffering. I cry buckets!!! Not in front of my Dad though, and in some ways it still feels surreal .... it's hard to explain or describe to someone who hasn't experienced it isn't it? My Dad is my hero, and I just cannot (or don't want to) imagine life without him. Life SUCKS like that, especially cancer (!!) I spose I don't really have any advice hun, I just wanted you to know I'm on this journey too and am happy to talk to you. ~*~Sqweege~*~ ... View more