Hi Jeanna It goes without saying that I wish your hubby well with his journey and treatment. I'm an advanced breast cancer patient, so the other guys on here would be more of a help to you, but......... I just wanted to say - YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!! take your employer 'to the cleaners' - how dare they sack you, whatever happened to compassion? I hope you win your case. Good luck with everything Di 🙂 ... View more

Hi Just Me I have responded to your other post, but just thought I would throw 'my 2 cents worth' in here as well. As I have said earlier, I cared for my mum at home (with my sister)as this was her wish. She was terrified of hospitals and wanted to be surrounded by her family. This was the biggest 'job' I have ever undertaken and to be honest (from my own experience only) I wouldnt recommend it to anyone. It is for this reason, that I have had paperwork drawn up stating that I am to be admitted to a nursing home or palliative care when I get too ill. My mother was totally incontinent and bed bound. She used to cry when we changed her, cause she hated what she had become and hated the fact that her daughters had to change her like a baby. I used to joke and say 'its OK mum, you brought us up - now it is our turn to look after you'. Her arms and legs were huge with oedema (from lack of movement) and the fluid used to leak out of them and saturate her bed. We had to bandage arms and legs from top to bottom, several times a day. It was not unusual to have to change her entire bedding a couple of times a day. Try doing this on your own - not an easy job when we had to change the bed with her in it. My sister and I are definately not nurses, just 2 daughters who were trying to help the mother we loved - but it was bloody hard. Mum really needed hospital help, but we honoured her wishes and allowed her to die peacefully at home. My only advice (and I may be howled down for saying this) is let mum digest all the bad news she has had. Sure she is feeling down and depressed, if she doesnt want to talk to anyone, then just leave her be for the time being. Speaking as a cancer patient now, I find that if people keep asking me things or hassling me, I just turn off. I have a lot of 'things' to digest myself, ie: treatments, how I'm feeling, how my diagnosis/prognosis is affecting the family and a million other things running through my head. I dont get depressed, but there are times I just want to 'turn off' and I'm sure this is what your mum is doing. Give her a little time to come to terms with everything. Thinking of you and cant stress enough how important it is for you to take care of you! Your mum is in the best place at the moment and hopefully getting wonderful care, so you look after YOU. Always here if you want to 'chat' Di xo ... View more

Wow DPC just read the above. Hope I dont fit into those categories anywhere!!! Mum passed away from pancreatic cancer, and I have advanced breast cancer (bony mets). bring on the research into the blood test! Di 🙂 ... View more

Hi Just Me My heart goes out to you and your mum. What a huge 'kick in the guts' you have both received. It is terrifying how quickly this bloody disease spreads. I know it is hard (I have lost both parents to cancer - dad 16 years ago and mum 2 years ago) both died at home as per their wishes. My dad had thymus cancer, which apparently according to the medico's is 'the best cancer you can get - easily treatable - once the thymus is removed everything will be OK' well.......that wasnt the case!!! The surgery (similar to open heart surgery where they crack the chest open, etc) showed that the cancer had spread to every organ in his body, heart, lungs, etc. They removed the thymus to slow down the progression of the cancer, stitched him up and said, 'sorry - too late - you've got 12 months at the most'. It seemed very callous to us at the time, but I now know they did their best, and even though dad was the world to us, to them he was just another person with cancer. If its any consolation, my little g/children (5 of them) still talk about my mum today as if she were still here. Even though they didnt know my dad, they talk about him as if they did. You wont forget your mum, and neither will your daughter, because the love you all have will stay in your hearts forever. You will cope when your mum has gone, it certainly wont be easy, I still cry to this day if I hear a song or a saying that mum and dad liked, but you will be amazed how your 'coping mechanism' kicks in. Dont be hard on yourself, if you want to 'fall apart' then go ahead - it is just your body saying 'enough is enough'. I was told by a breast care nurse to 'lock the door, get in the shower and just let all the tears fall' - its amazing how that releases some of the tension (for a minute anyway) and allows us to get on with day. It is OK to cry with your mum, as this will also allow her to get her fears and worries out. Dont try to hide your emotions from her, she is not a fool, she knows what you are going through. You are being a great support for your mum, but...do you have anyone supporting YOU??? Look after yourself and YOU must listen to YOUR body, as you have an extremely difficult journey ahead of you. Always here for you if you need to 'chat'. Di xox ... View more

Hi Seashell, I am so sorry to hear about your dad, I 'lost' my mum to pancreatic cancer 2 years ago (just 2 months before I got my advanced breast cancer diagnosis). We (my sister and I) cared for mum at home as she wanted to 'die at home' - all I can say is 'it aint easy!!!' watching the ones we love fight to sustain a quality of life. Like you, I cant stand the "keep positive I know xyz that was given 1 week to live and hes still here 1 million years later" - 'normal' people just dont seem to get the whole 'cancer thing' and dont know what it is like to have cancer or be the carer of a loved one who is dying. I have said all along, it is far harder to cope as the carer (speaking from my own experience) than it is to be the patient (my own experience again, as I have seen this 'journey' from both sides!). I can relate to you being 'dad's girl'. I lost my dad to thymus cancer (which had spread to every organ in his body - no treatment options were given as it was too advanced). He passed away 16 years ago and I miss him as much today as I did then. He was just the most wonderful man and both he and mum will live in my heart forever!! Your dad will be glad of the normality you are bringing into his life at the moment, love him lots and enjoy the time you have left together. My heart goes out to you and your dad. hugs to you and dad! Di 🙂 ... View more

hi Vicki, Personally, I think you have made the right decision in delaying chemo until after the wedding. We wait a long time for our children to grow up and marry, and this is a huge milestone in their lives and ours! You deserve to feel well on the day, so that you can enjoy it!! I look at this way, the damage has already been done, and a few extra weeks in delaying treatment, will not make that much difference. I'm so glad that you have a great hubby and family support, and that they are prepared to go along with what decisions you make regarding your treatment. There must come a time when we need to say, 'OK enough is enough' and quality should win out over quantity any day - this would be an extremely hard decision to make I'm sure - (not facing that prospect myself - yet!). Maybe after a couple of weeks break and time to regain some strength, you may look at 'things' differently. But......the choice is yours!! I wish you, your family and especially your daughter all the best for the 'big day', I hope it is truly amazing! Take care of yourself. All the best Di (big hugs to you - hope you feel better real soon xoxo) ... View more

Hi Sqweege, thanks for the congrats! I am Nanna (nannie) - depending how old the child is. My older 3 g/kids call me Nan, but the 2 littlies call me Nannie (uh, sounds like a goat, haha) - I guess Bailey will call me Nannie also. (that makes 6 beautiful g/kids!) I still havent 'physically' seen her yet, but my son has posted lots of photos on the net, she is a little cutie (but then again, I am extremely biased!). It's a 4hr return trip to see the kids (son and daughter both live in Melb) so I just need to work up the energy to go. I wanted to give them a chance to be on their own and settle in for the first week. Hopefully will go down the end of this week for a day or so. Is that a 4 hour 'straight' trip or return trip for you to get to your dad? Whichever way, it makes it difficult doesnt it. I live in rural vic (2 hour return trip to see onco and other docs), and as I said, 4 hour return trip to see the kids. I just find all the travelling extremely tiring. My partner drives me to and from docs visits, which I am very grateful for (I usually sleep on the way home, haha) but we dont go to Melb together, as one of us has to stay home with the animals, so I usually have to 'psych myself up' for the drive. Hope you are feeling better and getting rid of your nasty virus. Hope dad is doing OK! Take care Di (big hugs to you all) 🙂 ... View more

Hi Bugger, I think it just boils down to the fact that doctors are overworked; most of them 'dont care' - let's face it - the minute we leave their office, we are forgotten, until the next time we see them, and by answering emails, it just gives them 1 more job to do (in their eyes!)in their busy day. I live in rural vic and have found my local doc (1 , or if Ihr return trip) to be an absolute gem. If I need an appt I get in to see him immediately, if I want any results - he will give them to me over the phone or if I am concerned he will take my phone call. On the other hand, if my partner is ill, he has to wait for an appt, when ringing for results he is told he has to go into the surgery and unless it is an emergency, he is unable to speak with doc on phone. So I guess we DO have certain priviledges with cancer (oh, how lucky are we???) @Harker - I get copies of ALL my blood tests, scan results, absolutely everything! If professionals are treating me and talking about me with other doc's - then I want to know what they are saying! It's our right as patients. You can actually access all your medical records, through the Freedom of Info act, (if you can bothered that is). Have a good day everyone! Di 🙂 ... View more

Hi Vicki Anne, hope everything is going well with your new round of chemo! It is a real bummer when we have to go back onto treatment, but I just reassure myself with the thought, 'if this stuff makes me feel this sick, imagine what it is doing to those nasty cancer cells'. I finished 6 months of IV chemo in July, 09 then had 30 radiation treatments Sept 09. My initial diagnosis was advanced bc with widespread bony mets. I have since had a flare up in my neck bones and had a week of radiation (not as long as the first dose, but more concentreated) in Sept 10. Now I have just recently started on oral chemo, Xeloda, due to cancer counts rising and a bit more bone activity. Thank god at this stage, it is just confined to my bones, all scans show nothing in other organs. We are however, very resilient people (special people) - are just seem to bounce back after our bad news. good luck with your treatments. Di 🙂 ... View more

Hi Vicki, I love your comment 'finger farting' - is that my problem? All this time I have been thinking it is 'chemo brain' not telling my fingers what to do!!! Hope you dont mind, but I am going to 'steal' your saying - I like that better!!! haha These forums/topics are great for 'people like us' - our little sisterhood/brotherhood 'thing' we have going, in so much that we can say exactly how we feel! If we say 'gee, I'm exhausted today', or 'I feel like shit' or ........whatever, we know the response will be from someone WHO IS FEELING EXACTLY THE SAME WAY! My partner STILL doesnt get the fatigue/tiredness side of things. After 2 years, all he says is 'you need to go to bed earlier!!!' I just cant get it through to him that I/we have an exhaustion that cant be cured by sleep,especially when undergoing chemo. Vicki, the family support is necessary, and I do have that, but they 'just dont get it!. Hope everyone is feeling Ok! Di 🙂 ... View more