Hi all, Yesterday I met with one of my mother's doctors to get some answers to the many questions zooming around my head after she died. I did discover some mistakes and mis-management in her case. These mistakes did not lead to her death but did lead to prolonged suffering, which is upsetting. But the most upsetting thing for me to hear was that doctors knew she was terminal in October last year (2010). But I did not learn of that information until 10th February 2011, 6 days before she died. Apparently the surgeon who performed my mother's cystectomy (bladder cancer) saw during her operation in October that the cancer had spread and knew then that she was terminal. A few days after her surgery he had a long talk with my mother about the fact that she was terminal. But it seems that my mother did not understand this fact. It is possible that she hid it from us, but when she was admitted to hospital in January 2011 with complications the treating doctor said she seemed to have no concept of the fact that she was actually terminal. So I don't think she hid it from us, I think she really did not know she was terminal. Which may have been because she didn't understand or maybe she didn't even hear (she was on a lot of strong medications at the time the surgeon told her) or maybe she was in denial. I will never know the answer to that. But what gets to me more is that the surgeon then outright lied to us and told us (the next of kin) that my mother's cancer was contained with the bladder and had not spread. He maintained this fact and kept telling us everything looked good for a full recovery. So of course it was a massive shock when we were told that my mother was terminal and then 6 days later she passed away. If I'd known my mother was terminal earlier I would have spent a lot more time with her before she died, so I feel like time was taken away from me and my mother and other family members. I understand that my mother may have said that she didn't want the information that she was terminal disclosed to her family (which is something I can never know now). But even in that case can a surgeon then LIE to the family and tell them that the cancer was contained and had not spread? It seems so wrong that he lied about her prognosis. If my mother had told him not to tell anyone, shouldn't he instead have said that he could not discuss my mother's case rather than lie to us? Thanks, Tanya ... View more