I am so sorry to hear of your husbands diagnosis. It is such a terrifying time. My husband was originally told he had a grade 2 brain tumour in Dec 2009 but a year later it had progressed to the grade 4 GBM. So we are about 6 months down the GBM path and he is not doing well. I think the fact he had the other tumour has meant his survival time has not been as good as some others.
I remember being so frightened as I started to discover all the info on GBM in the beginning. I just wanted to hear stories of people surviving and I HATED hearing stories of people dying. Just remember that everyone responds different to the treatment and there are some fantastic stories of people still strong 3 or 4 years after diagnosis. They are constantly trialing more treatments and one day there WILL be a cure!
I am only 29 years old and I feel so ripped off to be robbed of the love of my life and the father of our son. I have struggled in my head with the thought of loosing him for so long and have felt so desperate and like I was clinging on to any hope - and that was very exhausting. A few months ago it became clear that he was loosing this battle and strangely it was a relief to stop fighting. It is still so heartbraking and painful though but at least now I can take each day for what it is and stop freaking about the worst happening, because the worst is happening! I guess what I am trying to say is that your life will never be the same, BUT don't waste so much time freaking out that it stops you from living in the moment and appreciating each day especially while hubby is still quite well. Much easier said than done mind you!
I wish I could tell you that it is easy and all will be ok, but the reality is that it is so freakin hard. BUT, in saying that, there are many wonderful things that happen during a journey like this. You realise that the world sucks, BUT also that there are so many wonderful people living in it. You have moments where you feel you can just not cope anymore, BUT then you find a strength somewhere deep inside to get through that moment. You feel so mad at your partner sometimes because you just want 'the old him' back, BUT you get experience a connection and type of love and care for your partner that is so powerful.
I am at the other end of my journey, so I hope I havn't brought you down with the morbid tone of my letter. Hubby and I don't have much time left, but YOU TWO DO! How ever you cope with this, just trust in yourself that you are doing the best that you can.
Be kind to yourself and LOVE LOVE LOVE your man. Lots of cuddles are essential!!
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Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.