About Rubes1984

Rubes1984

What a wonderful weekend was had by many people at the Bundaberg relay for life. It was a day I will definitely remember for a long time. I was surprised at how emotional the whole event made me- I found myself crying as I walked the survivor and carer lap with Dan. It was like a smack in the face to acknowledge that I have cancer, am currently fighting cancer and was being cheered on by a bunch of strangers. Also the candle lighting ceremony was again another very moving event.. I was proud of my walking efforts and seems all the walking paid off for preparing my lung/body for the all the walking. Thanks to Dan for encouraging me to not give up and to keep walking at my pace. It was great to raise $945 to go to a wonderful cause and to support the cancer council for all their wonderful work.!!!I know for sure I will be definitely participating in the relay for life in 2013.

Rubes1984

Maddie, It really sounds as though things are really on top of you at this time... I hope that you are able to find support in your friends and family at this time. As Kate outlined above there are people who are here to listen and help - I have always found talking to the cancer council very helpful and a way to lift this weight that dealing with cancer places on us. Please know I am thinking of you and sending warm thoughts your way. I am always here to listen - drop me a private message if you would like. Remember that if we keep filling "our cup" until it overflow then we are bound to feel the affect of it overflowing. Sending you a hug and hoping things are more hopeful tomorrow..... Rubes

Rubes1984

Maddie86, Life really is so unfair at times..... Nobody should have to go through this pain ever let alone at our age.... I can only imagine the pain and sadness you are experiencing..... I understand how you feel about wanting some relief from seeing your fiance in so much pain.... I see my fiance crying so often about the uncertainty of my cancer and our life together after we get married (on 27th Oct). It is horrible to see the one u love heartbroken, defeated and overwhelmed What a sad place for u to be in so close to your wedding day, I know u have imagined a perfect day and I will keep my fingers crossed u have the day you dreamed of and both deserve. Planning a wedding is crazy stressful on a good day let alone while dealing with cancer. Make sure u take some time for yourself before the wedding - get a massage, have long foot spa, go to the moves alone (see a comedy and laugh), do a face mask with ur bridesmaids or just get drunk (at ur hens party). The thing I'm trying to say is take some Maddie time cause u def deserve it and we all need time to ourselves! U will be better for ur fiance and better for yourself by having some time out :) Take care Rubes

Rubes1984

Well it has been a few weeks since writing a blog and I've honestly felt like a ball rolling along , bouncing from here to there with no real path in mind. Chemo is going well, weekly appts are part of the nom - I cannot wait til end Oct (as chemo will be reassessed + fingers crossed it will be completed.). Walking is part of daily routine and does help with sleep and improving my mood although it has been a bit flat.... I'm continuing to plan wedding, only 2 wks to tomorrow.... Hard to believe I've pulled it all together it will be a lovely day for sure. Been super fatigued, sometimes too tired to even talk,been pretty slack on here when I would like to be supporting others more. Needed a blood transfusion last wk, spent all thurs at hospital getting 2 bags if blood. Initially made me feel very sick, tired and short of breath. Spent lot of last wk resting, sleeping and day dreaming..... Feeling very medicated, would Like to reduce my pain meds to be more cognitively aware but treating team would like to keep where ur is at current time. Some days feeling very dizzy and nauseous, others feeling bloated and starving. Don't really feel like myself, feel like a ragdoll bouncing........ "All profound distraction open certain doors. You have to allow yourself to be distracted when you are unable to concentrate" Julio Cortazur

Rubes1984

Molly, All I can say us what a bugger.....at least now u have a clear diagnosis and can make some realistic choices about treatment. When there are so many unknowns it makes it impossible to plan and prepare yourself mentally for what is ahead. Don't be a stranger here as there are many knowledgeable, caring and very friendly people here. So check in, vent, rant, yell, cry and write out all that you are feeling - I know it will help and will be more therapeutic than you ever imagined. Good luck with upcoming tests and I hope your questions are answered. Take care Rubes

Rubes1984

Peanutz, It is great to hear from you. Sounds like a wonderful day and service - remembering, sharing and enjoying. I am glad u are allowing yourself to be and grieve, it is natural to do things as they feel right and in your own time. I hope returning to work helps allow you to return to some "normal" aspects of life, allows you to reconnect with colleagues and to assist to pass the time (i miss the distraction of work, in the beginning it was nice to keep working).good luck with the exercise too, they say the best natural healthy high one can experience. Take care :) Rubes

Rubes1984

Kasa, Woo hoo what fantastic news! What better news could u ask for and great to see ur spirits are so high. I finish my chemo late Oct and have scans/see oncologist again in Nov (i am praying for this type of news too). This news has really made me smile I am so happy for u and excited 🙂 May many more healthy happy years come ur way. Hugs 🙂 Rubes

Rubes1984

Hi Molly, When u are waiting for a diagnosis thinking and worrying is inevitable. I waited from 20th Feb this yr to 20th April before I got my diagnosis of lung cancer. U are doing the right thing tho, which is going to the Dr and get some tests started. Considering ur history it does increase the risk levels but nothing is ever written in concrete... I am sending u warm wishes and positive vibes, no matter what the cause seeking help is the first step. Good luck Rubes

Rubes1984

Peanutz, My thoughts are with u and ur family at this very sad time. How wonderful that u were together in ur husbands last moments. I am sure they were cheeriahed momenta for u both. Although u knew this was coming, I cannot believe how fast it was..... Take care and may u find some peace in knowing ur husband is now at rest. Hugs Rubes

Rubes1984

Peanuts, All I can say is my thoughts are with u and ur husband. I hopr u are able to have many good days in what time you have left. Such horrible news of the short time frame left together. Cancer really is a horrible disease, it causes so much pain and leaves fragments of pain and sadness for those left behind...... Take care of yourself and I'm sending u a huge hug! Rubes

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