Well it has been a few weeks since writing a blog and I've honestly felt like a ball rolling along , bouncing from here to there with no real path in mind. Chemo is going well, weekly appts are part of the nom - I cannot wait til end Oct (as chemo will be reassessed + fingers crossed it will be completed.). Walking is part of daily routine and does help with sleep and improving my mood although it has been a bit flat.... I'm continuing to plan wedding, only 2 wks to tomorrow.... Hard to believe I've pulled it all together it will be a lovely day for sure. Been super fatigued, sometimes too tired to even talk,been pretty slack on here when I would like to be supporting others more. Needed a blood transfusion last wk, spent all thurs at hospital getting 2 bags if blood. Initially made me feel very sick, tired and short of breath. Spent lot of last wk resting, sleeping and day dreaming..... Feeling very medicated, would Like to reduce my pain meds to be more cognitively aware but treating team would like to keep where ur is at current time. Some days feeling very dizzy and nauseous, others feeling bloated and starving. Don't really feel like myself, feel like a ragdoll bouncing........ "All profound distraction open certain doors. You have to allow yourself to be distracted when you are unable to concentrate" Julio Cortazur
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I feel supported when you just say how it is. You have done that. I can't see "being slack" as applying. I know what you mean about being a ragdoll. I feel something similar during the chemo regime and I just go with it as a scientific thing that will hopefully give a good result. I don't confuse it with my identity which is nothing to do with the health system and its routines. It's not going to be a ragdoll getting married. She's a whole person. Let them stick needles in the ragdoll. So what. That's not you. H
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