What has become increasingly obvious to me is when people say, " I am here for you", it doesn't always ring true. Since my Mum's diagnosis I have found myself having to ignore more people than I thought I would. When I recently went on holiday, a family member accused me of "abandoning my Mum". When I expressed online the grief I was feeling another person said, "you are making your Mum's cancer all about you" I have been accused of not caring or not caring enough. Or not providing enough financial assistance. They cannot understand when I really don't want to discuss my Mum's will with them or make funeral plans ( my Mum isn't dead yet). When talking to my Mum her feelings are the opposite. She feels I am supportive and am handling everything with dignity and respect. I take her to appointments, take care of her when she's sick with chemo and even shave her legs( cancer in her spine makes it hard to bend). Did not think I would be under so much scrutiny and people would think their advice would be helpful. I have a small group of people that I have come to rely on. They don't judge or give advice and they listen when I need to talk. However, it's not to say that people's comments and advice don't hurt. Especially on days when it's heartbreaking. When my Mum was told that the damage in her spine may require surgery which means she may lose the use of her legs. The day I found out an insensitive soul had a go at me because I hadn't offered to my Mum that she should move in with me. First of all, my Mum would hate it and loves that she still lives in her own home and secondly, its none of their business. Has anyone else found this kind of insensitivity in their battles with cancer or in caring for their loved ones? How do you resist the urge to punch them? ... View more

In October last year my mum went to doctor in regards to pain in her abdomen. She suspected gallstones. The answer that came back was unexpected. Cancer in her liver. Doctors said at the time that it was unusual for cancer to begin in the liver and we were hopeful that Mum fell into the small percentage. We were wrong. Bad news after bad news. First cancer was found in the bones of her spine and then after more testing it was found in her bowel. The prognosis being that the cancer had started in her bowel and had spread to her liver and bones in her spine. All of this news came in a matter of weeks. Mum was put onto radiotherapy and chemotherapy. In 2011, we lost my mother in law to breast cancer. Her death was devasting and the impact of her death nearly destroyed my marriage. My husband fell into a deep depression and we separated for three months. It took us a year but we rebuilt our marriage and are now expecting our third child. So to find out we were going to watch another parent go through battling cancer is difficult. You would think that we'd be more prepared, know what to expect but as you know, no cancer story is the same. I am new to this website. Not sure how I wil go but at least starting to write is carthartic. ... View more