Hi Mandy, it made me sad to read you saying, "it's almost a grieving thing I think". There is no doubt about this - you ARE grieving the loss of your pre-cancer life. You can't turn the clock back and no matter what happens down the track, your life will never be the same again. Even if you are cured and eventually get back your old energy levels and feelings of joy, it will still be a completely different life. Parts of your body may have been surgically removed, your fertility may be compromised, your grand retirement plans of sailing around the world might no longer be possible, etc. Everyone needs to be able to grieve whatever losses cancer brings to their lives, otherwise there is no way to eventually build a different (and possibly even better) post cancer life. I strongly recommend finding a support group to join, where you are able to express all your fears, sorrows, anger, despair and so on with people who truly 'get it'. That way you don't have to worry about burdening your nearest and dearest but you must find a place where you can safely offload all those scary feelings. Wishing you all the very best.
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