Hi Mandy, it made me sad to read you saying, "it's almost a grieving thing I think". There is no doubt about this - you ARE grieving the loss of your pre-cancer life.  You can't turn the clock back and no matter what happens down the track, your life will never be the same again.  Even if you are cured and eventually get back your old energy levels and feelings of joy, it will still be a completely different life. Parts of your body may have been surgically removed, your fertility may be compromised, your grand retirement plans of sailing around the world might no longer be possible, etc.  Everyone needs to be able to grieve whatever losses cancer brings to their lives, otherwise there is no way to eventually build a different (and possibly even better) post cancer life. I strongly recommend finding a support group to join, where you are able to express all your fears, sorrows, anger, despair and so on with people who truly 'get it'.  That way you don't have to worry about burdening your nearest and dearest but you must find a place where you can safely offload all those scary feelings. Wishing you all the very best. ... View more

I agree - knowledge is key for me and I was disappointed when I wasn't warned that either having cancer and/or chemotherapy might lead to a DVT, which I developed towards the end of my treatment.  I was sick of feeling that every little ache and pain was cancer-related, so when I woke up with what felt like a dead leg one morning I ignored it. I dragged myself off to work and it wasn't until after lunch, when I noticed that I could only tackle the stairs to my office one by one, that I realised my leg was really swollen and so hot you could have fried an egg on it.  I rang my GP and he told me to go to Emergency immediately and he would phone ahead to let them know I was coming in. An ultrasound showed that I had a clot extending from my groin to my ankle. It took two weeks in hospital on a Heparin drip before they would let me go home again and ever since then I have questioned everything to do with my health. I make it my business to do my own research if I can't get answers that make sense to me. I realise that some people just want to do as they're told by their doctors but I prefer to know exactly what's happening and why and what unusual side-effects I might encounter. I feel much braver if I know what's what, rather than driving myself crazy by catasrophising about things. If the worst happens, I'm prepared for it and if it doesn't then that's a bonus. ... View more

What a fantastic response from the attending doctor! It feels much better when people acknowledge what your reality is rather than offering platitudes. He was right - that day WAS sh*t for you! For him to validate that it was perfectly normal for you to be snarky in the circumstances was the kindest thing he could have said. ... View more

Hi Bel91 - I don't think there is anything that upset me more than people telling me, "don't worry, you'll be right".  I wanted to scream at them and ask how they could possibly know that!  I realise that they thought they were being supportive but the most  useful thing anyone ever said to me when I talked about how anxious I felt in the lead up to check-up times, "Given what you've been through, I can quite understand how frightening this feels for you.  I'm so sorry you have to go through this."  I strongly recommend that you  look for a support group for cancer survivors in your area if that's possible, because it is in being able to share your fears and worries with others who have been or are still in the same boat as you, that will definitely help you to get through those challenging times.  Where do you live?   ... View more

My type of cancer:  Breast cancer - DCIS plus Grade 2 tumour, Stage 3. Lumpectomy followed by radical mastectomy then chemotherapy.   My prognosis:  My oncologist was optimistic, but I found it hard to believe him when only just over 60% of women survived breast cancer for more than 5 years at the time I was diagnosed.   My survival time:  I'm in my 25th year of survival and while I rarely think about it, I am not oblivious to the fact that I can never be absolutely certain that it won't come back.  Look at Olivia Newton-John!    My word of advice: Never minimise how you feel during your treatment and after treatment finishes.  Find yourself a support group that allows you to be as big a mess as you need to be. By being able to be real with others who've been there and really get it, you don't have to worry your nearest and dearest with your fears, but you do need to have a safe place to express them where no one will try to 'fix it' for you. In Sydney the Life Forcer Cancer Foundation runs weekly support groups for people dealing with the emotional impact of any cancer diagnosis. I credit my Life Force support group with saving my life!  ... View more

I wonder how you are doing now, seven months after your original post?  I still remember the awful feeling after I'd been waved off from the hospital when my treatment finsihed.  I was grateful that the horror of chemotherapy had ended but at the same time terrified that no one was 'doing anything' now to make sure that they'd got all the cancer.  I left my job six weeks after the end of treatment and a month later had a complete break-down because I didn't have a reason to get up in the mornings any longer and couldn't hide from my feelings of despair, terror, anger, etc any longer.  It was impossible to explain how adrift and alone I felt and it wasn't until I found a support group that was set up mainly for people post-treatment that I gradually worked my way through all the grief at the loss of my old life and came to terms with the reality of my new life. I now facilitate support groups with the same organisation. I have written a book  ("Journey to Me":  http://janegillespie.com.au/book.html)  about that tumultuous time and how I came through it to a wonderful new place, where I am happier than I ever before.  If you would like a copy, please email me at hello@janegillespie.com.au.  I'm happy to let you have it for $15 post-free and could send you a PayPal invoice or give you my bank account details if you just wanted to do a Net transfer.  I hope you are feeling more 'you' these days or at least more at peace with the new you.  Sending love and understanding...  ... View more

Hello Kieran, everything that everyone else has said here is valid regarding post treatment fatigue. I have been okay for 20+ years since I had breast cancer, but still remember the unremitting exhaustion that I battled for well over a year after I finished chemotherapy. Three years ago I also had an SCC that was treated with four weeks of radiation and the fatigue following that lasted for many months. It is a case of patience, patience and more patience I'm afraid. You really have to listen to your body and try not to get so exhausted that no matter where you are, you simply have to sit (or preferably lie) down. That feeling of being disconnected from your power source can be quite scary if you are out and about so it is essential that you pace yourself. If you can attend an Aquarobics class, that could be quite useful but do be mindful that if you are in a heated indoor pool, just the heat can make you feel 'unplugged'. Good luck with your ongoing recovery. ... View more

I have just joined Cancer Connect and as a survivor of breast cancer for 20 years, with a second scary experience (different type of cancer) about 18 months ago that required radiotherapy, I can really relate to the emotional roller-coaster that anyone who is diagnosed with cancer is forced onto. I had a complete breakdown after my treatment for breast cancer ended and despite a good prognosis from my oncologist I was absolutely convinced I was going to die very soon. I was depressed and suffered severe anxiety and had panic attacks. It took me a full year to recover enough confidence to work again and that was only with the help of a fabulous support group. I truly credit them with saving my life otherwise I think I would have 'pointed the bone' at myself. I believe the reason I broke down was because I put on a brave face while undergoing treatment because nobody every asked me how I was really doing. Things are much better these days, but 20 years ago there was no recognition of the emotional trauma I was going through. Although the oncologist, registrars and chemo nurses were very concerned about my physical health they never evinced any interest in what my support network was. I was in fact a sole parent with a disabled teenager whose father was far more interested in his new wife and her children from a previous relationship than he was in taking on some of the responsibility of caring for our child. I urge anyone who is feeling overwhelmed to get help, whether it's from a psychologist, a counsellor, a minister/priest or a cancer support group. I highly recommend support groups because everyone else there 'gets' it! Most cancer patients don't want to upset their families and make them even more frightened than they already are (then you have to deal with their fear as well as your own), but it is absolutely vital to be able to be real and hear that other people have been through or are going through a very similar experience. Sherrell, I hope that things have improved for you now that you are a bit farther away from your diagnosis and treatment. ... View more