My elderly mum has lung cancer which has spread. Im finding it really difficult to cope as she has changed so much and is alienating my kids and even myself. I try to think of it as the cancer that has changed her. I have no support from family, no financial support, my life has turned upside down and I'm finding it harder and harder to cope. I look in the mirror sometimes and dont recognise the person staring back at me. My mum doesnt appreciate a thing I do, only picks on me and is angry. refuses to take her meds regularly, refuses to shower, Ive had to get nurses in to shower her and she wont pay the measly $12 a week fee for 3 visits as she said I should be showering her. I asked her to contribute something financially and she only gives me $60 a week which she says is more than enough to look after her, feed her, take her to hospital appointments etc. I push her around in a wheelchair with oxygen and my body is aching. My siblings say just put her into cair but I dont want to do that as its something she refuses to do. she is so angry all the time and hurts me emotionally. she tries to control, including my kids and they just avoid her now. this is so hard and people have no idea what its like. Any tips on how to cope with a palliative patient? ... View more

where do I start? My mum has lung cancer which has spread, she's gone for 7 months so far when they said 3 would be max. Shes changed so much I can't believe it, so rude, so angry, so cynical of everything. So bossy, so controlling and manipulative, not only of me but my kids too which effects them and theyre over it. I can barely afford to live and had to ask her to contribute. $60 she said a week will keep her and all she gives me. I don't qualify for a carers allowance as she is palliative. My siblings just want her gone to a nursing home and want nothing to do with her. They live in her properties she owns, and mum pays all the expenses on the houses. I live in my own house, not hers. Mum refuses to take her meds mostly, refuses to shower so I've got a nurse coming out three times a week to do it and mum refuses to pay the $12 fee a week for this! Says I should do it. I have to take her to hospital and doctors etc all the time, have to wheel her around with oxygen and it kills me physically. I've got great help with equipment for free from palliative. My mum is just so different I tell myself she is dying, but I don't know how much longer I can do this. The reason I said no to siblings about a nurseing home is because my mum was adamant she wouldnt go into one. I know shed have to sell the properties my siblings are in to afford to go into one which she detests, but I don't know what to do. Any suggestions on how to handle a palliative cancer patient? I don't mean to whinge, I have no one to turn to, friends just say lucky my kids are there to help but they are over it and just keep away from her. Cant blame them really and I feel bad thinking what I'vedone to my family. I am lost. ... View more