You will prevail, give yourself time. Please don't worry about what might happen and enjoy your kids with a lighter heart. They will pick up on your panic and it will do them no good. Relax and take each day as it comes. Funny telling you this "take each day as it comes" because right now my youngest daughter actually has an incurable blood cancer and I tell myself this every day. This forum is a great resource for people like us because we are communicating with people who understand what we are going through. The fear is so debilitating and serves no purpose other than to make us sick too. You can do this. Be a warrior for your children. I wish I could say god bless you, however I no longer believe there is a god. I do believe in love. Love to you and your family. ... View more

Little girl this must be soooo hard for you. Just enjoy the time you have with your mum. The last thing she wants to do is leave you. I don't like it when people say "be positive" because you will try and yet deep down the fear will take over. This is out of your control all you can do sweetheart is be there and let her see you smile now and then. That will help her in her fight. Much love to you both. ... View more

Oh sweetie, you are not alone. No one can really know what you are going through other than someone who has been where you are. Isolate yourself somewhere remote and just SCREAM. You are allowed and entitled. I hope you find some solace somewhere. I sure know how you feel. xxx ... View more

You are so right.  There is nothing you can do to change it.  My little sister also had cancer.  She fought the good fight.  All I could do for her was make her life a little more comfortable by buying her the things that she needed day to day.  A new bed, a blender, a juicer etc.  I would clean her house when I visited.  I did what I could and that is all any of us can do because we can't rid them of this insidious disease.  Your sister is lucky that she has such a caring sibling who is doing all she can to understand and just be there for her.  And that, sadly is all we can do.  My beautiful young daughter (32 years old) has an incurable blood cancer.  This disease, Cancer, is devastating and sadly we are not alone.  Sending you and your sister good energy.    ... View more

So glad you left this post for me to find. ... View more

Wow, Lorem_Ipsum what wonderful advice. You sound like a very wise and caring person. Your reply has helped me enormously too. ... View more

My heart breaks for you.  Obviously you are a mum dealing with a busy family life as well as the heartbreak and stress of dealing with your son's illness.  As mothers we are supposed to nurture and protect our children and so when this happens we begin to question.  Was it something we did or didn't do, have we passed this on somehow because of our genetic disposition?  Whether our concerns are reasonable or not, our heads spin with "what ifs, why our child, what are we going to do to help our beloved child from this insidious, horrible illness" and on it goes until we also become ill from anxiety, sadness and stress and yet we just have to keep going (when all we want to do is  sleep) for the sake of all who depend on us.  Lonely, helpless and sad is how I would sum it up.  Sometimes I don't even know how I feel.  Sometimes I will be in the middle of something like work, driving or shopping and  then some minor thing will remind me of my child and I will begin to cry and generally go and hide, so people can't see that inside I am falling apart.   My youngest daughter (I have three) was diagnosed with CML, an incurable rare blood cancer, last year.  I live in Brisbane, she lives in Sydney with her husband.  She hadn't been feeling her usual self and had several visits to the doctor who happened to be a close family friend.  He decided that she should undergo some comprehensive blood tests to see what was causing so many symptoms.  Several blood tests later she received a call from the Hematologist telling her to come in on Monday and bring her husband with her.  This was on the Thursday and so she had three days of anxious waiting.  The fact that they told her to have her husband with her sent off alarm bells.  Her husband contacted their doctor friend and asked if he would find out what was going on, which he did.  He arrived at their home Thursday night and told them that my beautiful girl had cancer.  Two days later my daughter found out that she was also pregnant with her first baby.   I was at home alone when the phone rang.  My tearful daughter broke the news to me.  I at first couldn't take it in.  "No, no, no" was all I could muster and the impact of that news felt like a physical blow.  I have never been more devastated.  My first child, a beautiful boy, died when he was 9 weeks old from SIDS which I never saw coming, and I thought I would never recover, I haven't deep down, and I never will, and now I was facing the prospect that I may lose yet another most beloved child.   I have come onto this forum also to find out how other parents are dealing with this.  Christmas 2015 my niece died aged 43, the mother of two, after battling cancer for 22 years.  Her mum, my sister-in-law, and I are very close.  She is having a very hard time dealing with the loss of her only daughter and yet she if doing her best to console me and give insights into how she dealt with her daughter's disease (breast cancer that matastasised).  She has told me that at times her daughter did not want her around because she couldn't bear to see the pain in her mother's eyes.  Recently Elle has told me how grateful she is that I am not falling apart and how she admires my strength.  If only she knew.   I think MammaBear the only thing we can do is maintain a facade of strength, optimism and determination for the sake of our precious babies and keep our vulnerability to ourselves in front of them.  We have to pick our times for falling apart and hide our tears.  I have the luxury of being on my own in my home and so can cry often, however, I think this must be so hard for you to bear when you are taking care of the rest of your family.  I hope with all my heart that you have a supportive husband and perhaps parents who can help you through this.  I pray that the universe will conspire to do everything to help your son and also you.  I no longer believe in a merciful god because if there actually was a god then why would he do this to the innocent when so many undeserving humans just breeze through life without anything devastating happening to them.         ... View more