Hi Kelly, and welcome to the club no-one wants to join.  You're asking the important questions- and unfortunately in my experience there are no right answers.  What I've learned about grief (from my personal experience and supporting others through it) is that the best way to handle it is to acknowledge your emotions and give yourself time.   There is no set amount of time it will take for the pain to stop, it's different with everyone.  I'm glad you found this forum, it's a great way to vent and grieve with other people who have had similar experiences to you.  Sending big hugs, Emily ... View more