Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I can't tell you how much it is appreciated, and I think your feedback is very wise.   It is a shit show- you're right. The helplessness of it all. Thank you again, and wishing you and your family all the @CaptainAustrali wrote: Sorry for your situation.   I personally think that it's all about time.  Time is our currency, how we spend it, what we do with it, is a direct reflection on who we are as human beings.   If you wrap it up in expectation, try and think of ways to enrich his last days, have a plan, have a schedule, obsess about doing the right thing, the best thing ---- it might even add stress to an already profoundly stressful situation.   But if you make the time, and are as present as possible, I'd be happy with that.  If he's unwell, sit by his bed.  Choose a book (Lord of the Rings) and read to him.  Play card games.     I'd also suggest that for a person facing end of life, it's really important to be respectful of what they want, and to not accidentally have any well-meaning social pressure.  If they give you a hint that they want to be left alone - as hard as it might be for you personally, give them the space they need ?   Sorry, cancer is a shit show, and working out what to do is tricky for all concerned.   My advice (being good, bad or indifferent), is to ask him, gently and with love: "Hey, we were looking at taking some time off work, we'd like to be around you, even if it's just to give support to <Wife/Kids/Whatever>.  Selfishly, we want as much time as possible with you, but we also want to be respectful of your needs - this is so hard for everybody - can you just tell us what you need most, and we'll try and make it happen ?" strength in your fight.  ... View more