Hi Geri I did reply earlier but I’m new at this and think it must of gone into cyber space, sorry. Thank you for your reply, I am sorry for your loss, it is so hard to cope right now and yes our heartache is very real. I was going to write to the hospital, his specialist, the emergency dept that let him go home, I was so angry at them, they did this I thought.  As the days/weeks went by or maybe even more recently, I realised that he didn’t want to stay in hospital and maybe he had a feeling that he needed to be home with me instead of in a hospital bed, maybe he sensed something more than he let on.  Maybe we both did? It doesnt changed anything, I miss him every day, I cry every day, I want to turn back time to when we thought he had a throat infection and it healed and we went on with our happy life where he too was looking forward to a few more years of work then his long service leave before retirering.  We had an amazing bond, he was my everything, we did everything together, we didn’t have a lot or any friends really just us and our family.  As I said in Leesnell post I am grateful to find a place we can share and read and offer support to each other.   Our hubbys would want us to keep going, they wouldn’t of left us if they didn’t have to, and they know we will get through this.  We have to believe this. ... View more