Hi blueeyedjess, Congratulations in seeking advice - you are in a tough situation. Do a search through these forums and you will see lots of people who have had to deal with beligerant partners or parents who are going through their cancer journey. There is already a whole lot of good advice posted in these forums on this subject. But again, good on you for reaching out - a really big step in the right direction. One thing in particular that I would suggest is trying to compartmentalise your time with your mum between that as a carer and that as her daughter. That is, love her to the max when you are there as her daughter, but then become the tough hospital matron when you are there to assist in her treatment - tell her to back off if she over steps the mark. But also let her know which role you are playing at any point in time so that she learns what she can and can't get away with. This approach also requires you to become as knowledgable as you can about her condition, treatment and responses so that you can work out where to draw the line about what is reasonable, what isn't and consequently when you should hold your ground or give a little. Just remember the safety instructions given when you are on an aeroplane - if the oxygen masks come down, use it yourself first before you try to help others. You can't help your mum if you are an emotional mess. Take care of yourself first and exercise your mind so that you are in a good head-space to help your mum - and that will often require you to stand your ground and tell her what she needs rather than what she wants. Good luck and hang in there. Rick
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Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.