Hi Patches,  you are having an anxious and trying time, and must be acting as brave as possible for your partner. If the chemo is causing the infections  then you will need to balance the life quality with the treatment. You haven't mentioned a cancer situation but I gather it's in the background. After my experiences with chemo for my 40 year old son, which shut down his surviving kidney after a cancerous one was removed, I found we just had to go with the path of least pain. My son's cancer went to the brain very quickly, and all I could do was make sure he felt comfortable, loved and reassured. The time your husband spends at home with you will be the special, memorable time for you both. Emergency departments are what we try to forget. I hope you will be able to stay at his side, and that the doctors treat you both with the respect you deserve. I found the community nurse very helpful - don't be afraid to ask for suggestions. Good luck dear. ... View more

Hi there, I am a carer for my son who is 40 and was diagnosed with metastatic kidney cancer four months ago. I feel for you in your situation, it is so hard to deal with evryone's needs on top of your own. My sister has metastatic cancer too. You get pulled in different ways! The community is fantastic where  I am in Sydney south. We have the community nurses who visit every 2 weeks, volunteer people, occupational therapist, who provide advice and equipment such as bathroom adaptations or wheelchairs, the Health Direct line 1800 022 222 for general advice, a great GP who is watching my son's results, a pathology collector who comes to us every week (ring your local provider such as Laverty) and I believe some local Councils have a patient transport system that can be booked to take people to a hospital appointment.  For pensioners, (which I'm not yet) you can have your discounted medications and my chemist has a rewards program that gives you some money back for dealing with them all the time. (Terry WHite chemists - can be shopped online.) The best discount chemist for special items like blood pressure monitors  is Chemist warehouse. For larger items like walkers and special beds there are the ILS shops (Independent Living specialist) also online. The hospital also provided a dietitian and social worker contact numbers. Don't be afraid to reach out - they are waiting to help. Good luck with your future! ... View more

Hi, Lovelost, it sounds like you are in a difficult place right now. You have a long list of responsibilities and they sound like insurmountable obstacles: but are they? The big mortgage - could you down-size? And why are the adult children a responsibility? Look closely at the list of things you feel are vital and maybe re-think the big picture. I have a 39 year old son who has incurable renal cell carcinoma, and I would give anything to watch him tinkering with projects and enjoying life again. His father and grandparents are all passed on. There won't be any children or devoted partner for him, no nice super buffer or savings fund. Just me and some loved ones. You may be right about your partner's attitude of course. But cancer has a long shadow and you have to keep loving the person who is in that shadow. Hope you can sort it all out, my best wishes to you. ... View more

Hi there, I just joined this forum yesterday after my younger son was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 renal cancer. I talked to an old friend whose husband has been fighting kidney cancer for over 2 years. Some comfort I was given includes: there are many immuno therapies to use against the disease. There are many good doctors too. Secondly, if they don't know much about your specific problem then you have to be proactive and read as much as you can. You'll find a lot of info online, some good some not, and the more you investigate, the better because when the doctor asks you for agreement to use a certain plan, you are better prepared. My philosphy - if it's any use - comes from an old writer who said "to live better, think of each day as a life in itself" because then it can seem longer and richer. Material things lose their value straight away. The website https://oncologynews.com.au has an article on "Research review underscores progress in treating kidney cancer..." - be proactive, there are others out there feeling just like you, dear. ... View more