My beautiful mum passed away on December 2021. She never got to meet my son or see me get married which all happened a year after 2022.   I have been through so much during my mums  cancer that i had never even thought about what it would be like once shes gone. Even though that sounds strange. I see mums with their grandkids at the shops or playgroup and i get deeply hurt mine is gone. I often think lung cancer was a cruel way for her to pass also. I often have moments of silience and even though im religious i cant help but blame god sometimes (who else to blame?) Obvioisly thier are kids that also get cancer and i think why god? This disease is hell and effects everyone.   I dont have a village or a supportive family. I was an only child and carried this weight for a while. But post greiving is another level or hell. Its kind of like we took the only person in the entire world who birthed you raiserd you and loved you uncondotionally and now you watch them suffer and die. Also you will now be a motherless mother yourself with noone to guide you. This hurts me so deeply. Even if i reach out to a psycholigist or whatever they dont really understand it unless they been through it. Their is also no cure for greif except 'time'. Everyones Parent do eventually pass away but cancer is really horrible to watch take your parents life. Sometimes i just want to drink until drunk and feel all the pain instead of bottling inside but i have a small child who i guess saved me. (A gift from my mum).   This post has no intention  Just my everyday thoughts i wanted to share.     ... View more

Hello, I am in my 20s and I have quit my full time job to be a fulltime carer for my single mother who has terminal cancer. She has a prognosis of less then 1 year, I have moved back home to take care of her. At the moment I am struggling to adjust from being indepedant from renting and paying my own bills to carers payment via centrelink. I have a partner who is currently volenteering  overseasa and I am finding it difficult to communicate with him/ this is straining our relationship as I tend to blame him for being unavailable. Lately I am getting outburst of anger which is not normal, because I simply wake up and don't have a routine, I live day by day depending on my mothers need. I am contemplating getting a part time / casual job just for structure, or joining a pt class at the gym. My mother had been diagonised 5 years ago with lung cancer and after chemo, radiation the cancer has returned and deemed terminal. I feel like I should be panicing, thinking of funeral cost or even speaking to family memembers about 'when if', to deal with the trauma of when my mother passes less stressful as possible.  I have never had to go through something like this before and I am really struggling how to cope each day with my emotions. Any advice would be appriciated. Thank you 🙂 ... View more