I’m sorry for your loss...I don’t know what it is to lose a brother but I understand what you mean about not being able to talk to friends and family etc. I was the same.  It may sound strange but when my grandmother past away, (the closest person to me in my life) the only person I could talk to was her. I told her how much pain I was in, how Lonely I felt, how angry I was that she left me......everything I wanted her to know. I knew she was listening. I’d also decided that I would never be scared of death, because I knew that when my time came she would be there waiting for me. As an 18 year old at the time, I didn’t know if it was normal to feel this way but I did. I talk to her all the time and I don’t think about the sickness and pain she suffered at the end, I remember always the warmth of her embrace, how she loved me and cherish all the beautiful memories I have of her. I visit her grave and talk to her there too, ask her for guidance etc. I know she’s always with me. She passed away more than 20 years ago but I remember it like it was yesterday. This is just a little story about a woman I loved who raised me from birth. I hope my story can help you in some way deal with what you’re going through.  Stay strong, you will find your own way to get through this and you will get through x   ... View more