Hi Nella, how are you? So sorry you have to undergo treatment. I'm not on tamoxifen at the moment. I do have to return onto it post having babies. Initially, tamoxifen was recommended for 5 years. Recent studies have shown for women who tolerate tamoxifen, it is beneficial to prevent recurrence to continue for longer and 10 years is now the new norm. ... View more

Hi Nella, so sorry you have to be here. Good luck with radiation. Did you get your tattoo markers? Tamoxifen was originally prescribed for 5 years, but recent studies show that if you can tolerate it, the longer the better. Prevention is better. Younger women are likely to quit earlier but with that came some risks of recurrence. Tamoxifen blocks hormonal or any stray cancer cells from binding, so it was recommended that a longer period is better. I am meant to go back onto tamoxifen post babies. Hugs ... View more

Hi Miss Ren, how are you? Its been a long time. I stopped tamoxifen in second half of 2010. Be prepared for the surge in hormones again for eg. PMS etc! Having said that, the only good thing about tamoxifen was that it kept me regular and calm. I am glad to be off tamoxifen and back to a new/old me. I've lost some of the weight and bloating that came with it. You are right, there is very little research done on this. The risks were discussed at length with my husband and I - for eg. if cancer were to come back and possibility of leaving a child with one parent. We too are trying to conceive. There is a possibility that I may return onto tamoxifen (maybe a low dose) post pregnancy. That's all for now. I am 39 and have been told by my gyno/obstetrician that if we considered IVF that they use different hormones to stimulate growth to collect the eggs. Also the chance of recurrence in that one month would be minimal, so that IVF, if it were a last resort, will still be a safe option. In 2010, my oncologist referred me for a bone scan and MRI of head, chest and abdomen, plus bloods to make sure everything was ok before coming off tamoxifen. We are still trying naturally - need to allow at least 12 months. I wish you all the best. ... View more

Lonely Angel, How are you? Where are you up to in your treatment? Unfortunately - lack of empathy is part of the baggage that comes with a diagnosis. You will find that people will treat you the same as they always have. Sounds like you have been there for everyone in your life and now its your turn to step back and look after yourself - I mean, really look after yourself (its ok for you to be a little selfish!) Find things that make you happy and feel good and likewise be around those people and do those things. Unfortunately, if your friend is not there for you, you have some options, have an open talk with her and give her a chance to help you in the way you need. Be clear about what it is you need or miss. It might seem obvious to you but not to her. Alternatively, find and make new friends. All I can say it is perfectly normal for you to grieve for the loss former life and friends. When diagnosed you're placed into a minority of the population not by choice, not by a car accident etc. but caused by our body not being able to rid of its own cells which cause the cancer. There are many support groups such as bcaus.org.au. The Cancer Council have monthly soirees for younger women - under 50 and workshops which are useful. ... View more

Hi Missy, I haven't met anyone yet other than Nikki here on this forum, although she didn't have breast cancer / tamoxifen. I am currently 2 years out from treatment and plan to try for a baby next year. I have met a lady through soiree who was diagnosed and treated with chemo in her 3rd trimester with her second child. Her son is now 7-8 years old - normal and healthy. She had a recurrence afterwards (a new primary) and was treated. She is surviving ok and has given me a lot of hope. ... View more

Hi Cats, Sorry to hear your story - all I can say is to enjoy your "time off". Your natural hair colour will grow back - it takes time. You will notice that the dark / grey fluff that is currently there may also fall out when your new hair grows back. You can use some safe colour like henna. Hope you stay well and strong. ... View more

I occasionally find some situations (work and social) can be isolating because many people I work with around my age are married already have children. Also, some single people are much younger than me, so there are few people I have anything in common. Sometimes, it is easier to stick to topics like - hobbies, travel, music, news etc which isn't age or family related. It is hard to figure out how to respond to a tricky question - like, "have you done something to your hair" or you look different compared to last year. It helped me to have some answers "pre-prepared" and only disclose info to people that I felt ok with. It gets better with time. ... View more

Kym, I hope you are feeling better today. Your world has been turned upside down. Your nearest and dearest can help only in their usual way. Only someone who has had prostate cancer can understand what you are going through. I found what helped me was lowering my expectations of myself and others, either by communicating/managing them - bummer I know (it would be great if someone could do this for us)! Initially, I had a lot of anger - I felt victimised by the disease - it ruined my holiday plans, my husband plans possibly my fertility and I was out of work. I wanted to be around people but on my terms not theirs incl my husband. It's about control and power struggle. It is really hard for people to see it that way because on the outside you appear ok. On this forum you can have a "whinge" with us - that's what we are here for because "we get it". Empathy is hard to find these days. You have been through a lot (and still are) so your feelings/reactions are a moving target and adapting to your new life. Some things will be same but you also need to see it as a time for change - eg. work hrs, alone time with your wife and spending quality time with the children. Perhaps you need some quality time for yourself. ... View more

Graham, Firstly - it sucks! Take it one day at a time. I hope you are not suffering too much and can manage to still do some of the things rest of us take for granted. My friend survived an additional 6 months despite doctors diagnosis -(she died in May this year). She spent Christmas with her family, walked (very slowly, almost breathlessly) along the beach and had many visits from family and friends. She managed to receive most of her care & medication from home (despite bouts in hospital). Please make the time to do the things you enjoy while you can - eg fishing, watch, horse and car racing. You might also want to think about a scrap book with images or video. Some people don't get the chance to prepare for death (its awful and morbid I know, but I'd be lying if I said the thought never crossed my mind). Now I see each day as a celebration of life. I hope and pray, it is not your time. ... View more

Hi all, I've read some of these posts - there were many things that upset me besides temporary "loss of hair/identity", being "sick", and others "reactions". - time and financial loss it took me over year to recover. As I was on holidays and couldn't complete the trip. My husband is ok, but I felt bad for him as it affected his plans too. - stigma attached to cancer and in turn, my husband, family and friends. There was no family history and I also had family worrying about themselves or their children having cancer (not to mention my own concerns now, that I may pass on to my children), even though the risk is very low. - young survivors "live longer" with scars and annual testing as reminders for life (while family and friends assume you are back to "normal"). - temporary or permanent loss of livelihood (depending on fertility, work/study career plans etc). ... View more