Hi Dmart83, I'm very sorry for your loss Dmart83, but, your life is no less important than your brothers was. We all have to discover our own path in life, & if it takes some people a bit longer, then it takes a bit longer. Instead of kicking yourself, why don't you use this time in your life to make a conscious effort at making better choices? Mistakes? EVERYONE makes them! You cannot grow in life if you make no mistakes. Take it easy on yourself. Budgie
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