Some days I stand in the mirror butt naked and look at myself.. The only reminder outwardly that I've even had Breast Cancer is a scar about 5cm long on The side of my right breast and a 7cm scar under my right arm where they took lymph nodes...my under arm and back of arm feels compleaty numb. Sometimes it just feels surreal, that I even had tumors that were cancerous. I look at my slightly rounded stomach and think maybe back of those Big Macs Mk, but don't stop enjoying yourself. I think that was my way of coping and being strong staying slightly angry and in denial. I talked to several surgons, and nurses, some were quiet intimidated by my lack of caring what they thought or caring about their prestigious, medical degree.   You know what?  It might not have looked good on the outside, some of my behavior to others, but their opinions didn't keep me alive and my head above water. I did what I needed to do for me. I am litterly fighting for my life.  Cancer is a large head game, but until I experienced it myself I didn't realise just how much it compleaty does your head in at certian points. Anyone else felt this way?   ... View more

Let me start off by saying the obvious ...cancer sucks.  Generally a happy go lucky type..however with Breast cancer came a tad more witty come backs and a dry, confidently sarcastic sense of humor. I've had my fair share of doctor's an nurse's that got their medical degrees out of a Kelloggs box. You see, I was Last week's pin cushion at the local hospital. Knew I should of brang mum's biscuit tin..And possibly a thimble that extended the full lenght of my arm.    We will give you every thing available to your type and location of cancer. Over 400 trials and they come up with, Chemotherapy, radiation  and hormone therapy pills?! .. I'll take my chances...give me the pills.. because everyone I've ever seen on chemotherapy  looks like the life is sucked from them rather than given too..a slow death with loss of quality of life. To be honest with you I'm scared about my choice..I mean this could backfire..but also..I'm  exusted...no ever talks about how the cancer by its self without these harsh treatments and cytotoxic agents sucks the life from you.    A normal trip to the shops and I get puffed. I feel sick every morning in the guts and the hormone therapy pills make me hot enough to spontaneously combust so I live in the air conditioning..am tottaly over it. Who ever I date next in the lesbian world, you won't need a bbq just use my back, don't mind the hair in your food tho, just another benefit of being hormonal.  On the up side surgery went really well..but i woke up agitated, really agitated . Screw the friends and family who never check in to see if I'm ok.  I have a new kitten and we sleep eat and pee together, also she is cute.  ... View more