Hiya!   Cancercouncil has a whole range of resources that you might find helpful including this particular one - https://www.cancercouncil.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/UC-pub-Emotions-and-Cancer-2019.pdf   From the sounds of it - it's probably a combination of the cancer, the side effects of treatment and the possibility of what's to come that has made them withdrawn.  If you can't talk to them then perhaps may consider seeking a counselor?  Carers need support too!     ... View more

Not been in the situation so can't really share from experience.  Hopefully someone gets back to you in regards to this but if not - perhaps check out the "grief and loss" area of these forums but BE EXTREMELY WARNED: That part of the forum IS extremely heartbreaking and devastating. Would only recommend as a last option.   I also was keen to learn more in regards to what to expect (and still wish too somewhat) but ended up crying over one person's post in that part of the forums  and felt miserable for a large majority of the day.  Haven't gone back since.   According to other research that I've done - there doesn't seem to actually be that much besides becoming withdrawn and a lack of appetite during the last month or so.   This might also be why the doctor doesn't want to give you 'symptoms of what to expect'.   Wishing and hoping that you and your mother get to share many good times together for  as long as possible.       ... View more

In terms of treatment, the general approach seems to be "cut, poison and kill" or "surgery, chemotherapy and radiation".   Unsure why they wanted to go so fast but I'm sure they had the best intentions - probably just really invested in of removing it while they still had a chance/it hadn't spread to other organs. The only thing I'd suggest always asking is "How will this affect my quality of life?" and "Is the purpose of this (whatever they're suggesting) to cure, control or manage?" as doctors will probably be focusing on how to save/cure you ASAP without really considering the side effects that it will have on you. Not due to a lack of humanity though!  Just the desire to save lives.   Good luck - I hope things go well for you.   ... View more

Read both of your replies and yeah - I'm just as shocked by the doctors response.  I'd probably keep an eye on them and request print outs of all the drugs/etc they're doing.   Unfortunately (in regards to chemo and radiation), it will probably be a new norm of feeling really bad after the first week or so of chemo/radiation but then feeling better for the week before the next treatment (because that's when her body will be on the mend).   I'm not an expert on it myself but based on my own research - chemo and radiation aren't good at being specific in terms of what to poison and kill so there is always going to be 'casualties' of good cells.   Good luck to you and yours - just remember the important question of asking "how will this impact her quality of life?" and with any luck, the doctors will hopefully not be so hardcore in their attempts of being curative or extending life as long as possible despite side effects.     ... View more

Seriously - good on you for doing your best to work through this! It's never easy to talk things out especially in such a horrible awful situation. And honestly?  All the feelings and responses that you've described are understandable and completely human - I'd actually be more worried if you all 'okay'.   It sounds like the doctors are going to start him on pallative/hospice care which will hopefully help with the pain your dad's going through.  You and your family have been through a HELL of a lot that perhaps it's time to call reinforcements such as a counselor/psychologist to help guide and support you?   If one isn't available to you and/or your family then perhaps you might consider this link to a list of Australian anonymous phone and help lines that operate free..   https://aifs.gov.au/cfca/publications/cfca-resource-sheet/helplines-and-telephone-counselling-services-children-young-people in particular http://griefline.org.au/online-counselling-service/ might be of assistance to you, they even have online options.  🙂   And look - even if you don't decide to go ahead with this route, that's cool too.  I would recommend trying to spend time with your dad and family but don't overdo it.  The point isn't for it to be an obligation but rather a chance for you to try and enjoy as much time with each other as you can.  So know your limits! You are not a bad person for needing to step away from time to time because you deserve as much as anyone in your family to be looked after too.   You are not a bad person in the slightest -the fact you want to be there for everyone in your family and want to make them happy despite how awful you must feel is proof of this.  Just make sure to look after yourself as well. ... View more

Howdy,   First off - not a doctor/nurse! This is just based off my own journey/experience with coping with a loved one's cancer and I'd recommend researching further.   Radiation/Chemotherapy can cause intense side effects - the doctors need to know about them so they can perhaps change the dosage/treatment plan so next time you see them, would really recommend letting them know everything that's happened during and after treatment. Keep a diary even!  Also did they give you a treatment plan and side effects to look out for?    In the case of the treatment plan that my mother got - she was informed to go to hospital if she ever experienced intense pain and to give them her chemotherapy/cancer card treatment info so they knew how to help her best.   Someone mentioned it before I think but talking to her GP is also a good step but most importantly, make sure that she or you tells the doctors that you're really wanted to focus on improving quality of life and also what nutritional changes or physical therapy might assist her best. 🙂   In the case of my mother - she decided after telling her oncologists that she wanted to focus on quality of life that she would forgo radiation therapy as they admitted that it would probably be not worth the side effects based on other patients like her. (I'm still trying to work out how to accept this choice but she seems quite happy and not in too much pain at the least....)   Not saying that the doctors you have are bad - they are probably just used to people wanting the 'cure' no matter the cost/pain.  However if they don't talk to you and your mother about pallative/quality of life improvements after you request them than you might really want to consider getting a second opinion!   All cancer is different so I won't tell you the drugs that my mother is on but elevating her knees and putting ice on them did seem to help her out a bit.   ... View more

i think you’ve done an amazing job so far but it’s a lot to deal and process - if you don’t feel comfortable talking with family - perhaps see if there’s a therapist available that you could talk to? If you’re still at school - it might be worth seeing if they have options available.   Stage 3 isn’t a death warrant though still extremely serious - it’s hard to consider it but are there things that are important to you and your family? Doing movie nights? Or eating dinner together?? If you can - try and focus on these so that your dad can have a bit of normality. But really - take care of yourself first and try to have a bit of a life outside of this - even if it’s a casual job or focusing on school. Not only does it give you other things to think about but it gives you other stuff besides cancer to talk with to your dad and family 🙂  ... View more

I’m not familiar with it happening but perhaps it’d be worth getting a CT scan done and seeing some oncologists to confirm it? ... View more

good luck! I’m cheering for your success! 🙂 ... View more