Seriously - good on you for doing your best to work through this! It's never easy to talk things out especially in such a horrible awful situation. And honestly?  All the feelings and responses that you've described are understandable and completely human - I'd actually be more worried if you all 'okay'.   It sounds like the doctors are going to start him on pallative/hospice care which will hopefully help with the pain your dad's going through.  You and your family have been through a HELL of a lot that perhaps it's time to call reinforcements such as a counselor/psychologist to help guide and support you?   If one isn't available to you and/or your family then perhaps you might consider this link to a list of Australian anonymous phone and help lines that operate free..   https://aifs.gov.au/cfca/publications/cfca-resource-sheet/helplines-and-telephone-counselling-services-children-young-people in particular http://griefline.org.au/online-counselling-service/ might be of assistance to you, they even have online options.  🙂   And look - even if you don't decide to go ahead with this route, that's cool too.  I would recommend trying to spend time with your dad and family but don't overdo it.  The point isn't for it to be an obligation but rather a chance for you to try and enjoy as much time with each other as you can.  So know your limits! You are not a bad person for needing to step away from time to time because you deserve as much as anyone in your family to be looked after too.   You are not a bad person in the slightest -the fact you want to be there for everyone in your family and want to make them happy despite how awful you must feel is proof of this.  Just make sure to look after yourself as well. ... View more

I found out my dad was diagnosed with stage 3b lung cancer when I was 17 . The did a lobectomy and what they found when they went inside they we’re already kinda late. It had spread to his lymph nodes . So they continued with chemo and radiation and re scanned and during that time was the worst I have ever seen my father it was terrible . Some people just don’t understand how it feels to see stuff like that . He couldn’t get up he’s scream all night in pain from his back . He’d throw up every where he couldn’t eat and was just skinny and frail. When they rescanned him after 3 months they found the chemo they put him on never worked and it spread to his liver and spine . So at that point they determined him terminal and all they could do was try to contain the cancer from spreading. I just turned 18 maybe 4 months ago now . It’s sad but whatever god has planned for him is for a reason . But on a happier note . I have rented him a corvette for a day cause he’s always wanted one every since I was little he wanted to travel the world with my mother in his own corvette but this was the closest I could get . But I say keep your head up high everything happens for a reason . And try to make the best of it try to spend time and make special memories happen .  ... View more