Hi. I'm a single mother of a 16 year old. In March 2019 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I started chemo soon after, then had a bilateral mastectomy with axillary clearance of the lymph nodes, then radiotherapy and I am now taking Tamoxifen daily. None of it was easy but physically I coped pretty well with the treatments.  Not long after my diagnosis my mother had a stroke. While being treated for that it was discovered that she had tumors in her bowel. They were removed and we thought she was okay but then a few months later she got kidney stones and wile being treated for that it was discovered that there were now even more tumors. By this time she was so weak that they couldn't operate again and, though they tried, she couldn't tolerate chemo so in the end there was nothing to be done. She was in so much pain all the time and after a long hospital stay she went into palliative care. Officially she died of bowel cancer but we actually watched her starve to death. It was so brutal and completely terrifying.   Now, as I wait the long months until January when I have my first follow up scans I am finding myself thinking about it ALL THE TIME and I'm starting to have panic attacks about what they might find. Whenever I think about doing anything in the future (I'm hoping to buy a house next year) my mind whispers "if you're still here then" and I lose hope again. I'm thinking of asking them to do the scans earlier because I might just be a basket case by January.  ... View more