Hi, I have had the surgery but didn't have the weight problems that seem to be making things even more complicated for you. Have you sought a second opnion and I agree with Merkel, find out how much you have to lose. You have certainly started on the right track. good luck Samex ... View more

Reflections of some of my own thoughts lately. I have been contemplating the nature of selfishness as i believe being a cancer survivor impacts on your view of this aspect of life. BC I always gave totally to others - family, students, colleagues with rarely a thought for myself. When I was diagnosed with cancer i tried to change that view and begin to lok after No.1 more. This lasted - oh about a month! I then reverted to all of my "bad" habits. What this self reflection has allowed me to do, however, is to observe others and the conclusion that I have come to is that selfish people are the happy ones. I initially believed this to be a paradox as I felt fulfilled when I was giving - felt useful I suppose. What i now have to deal with is often resentment at those who have been selfish, thought only of themselves and they haven't got cancer and those who gave of themselves have got this dreaded disease and have to deal with it. I am working (slowly) through these thoughts and trying to work on ways to be more selfish. For me, a dilemma. (A little more than 10 minutes) Samex ... View more

hi maddie, I was diagnosed with bowel cancer 3 years ago, next week. I came within 24 hours of dieing from my bowel completely shutting down. I was so ill that I barely remember many parts of those few days. I had major surgery to remove 30 cms of bowel and took 3 weeks to recover enough to go home. 2 weeks after that i started 6 months of chemo, including having a picc line and coming home with my jet pack of slow release chemo for 3 dyas every fortnight. none of it was fun and I still live with some minor physical side effects and some psychological ones BUT I am here writing this. I am back to virtually full time work as a teacher and I give my sons (21 and 16) a cuddle every day. My story is only a mildly inspiring one as so many others have dealt with far worse than me. But, Maddie, we are all here. I feel so much for you having to deal with this at such a young age. i hope my story helps a little. Samex ... View more

hi Mazza, I felt very lost after chemo finished and everyone wanted me to go back to normal. I waited far too long to have the depression that thwen occurred treated. I reluctantly strated on anti-d's but they and counselling have been my saving grace. I am stating to come out of the pall of depression lately. PLEASE don't leave it too long. Take lots of care. The next phase needs you to be careful with yourself as well. No such thing as rambling on tis site! Samex ... View more

Hi Gail, My feet were not so great when a friend dragged me around NYC last year. Had a ball!!!! Does your husband have some really squishy socks and maybe some spongey inner soles? They may help a little. Hope you are having a ball despite to crummy hands and feet. S ... View more

Have a great time!! Do everything! Samex ... View more

Hi Maddie, I can't imagine how awful it must be for you really young people to have to deal with this. I strugled at 50, thinking that was too young. While I am definitely on the road to recovery(also from bowel cancer), I thought only this morning of the "best" times that I spent with my husband while on treatment. As I wasn't working, we had all of his days off to spend together when I wasn't at the hospital. (He works shift, so we had days during the week without kids). The ones I remember are the short "airings" as I called them. short drives with maybe a simple picnic or even just a cuppa from a thermos. Fresh air, quiet talk and some peace were what I really needed. I'm not sure what your situation is but maybe these quiet times could be good for you both. The future is a tough one to contemplate for you both but at the moment mayb each day is what you need to consider. Take lots of care of each other. Is there someone you can talk to? If not maybe try the cancer helpline. S ... View more

Hi Jods, Your post reflects the all to real confusion you are feeling. Please accept hugs and thoughts as you face your own grief but also being there for your Mum. remeber to take care of yourself as well. Samex ... View more

Hi Maddie, I have survived stage 3 bowel cancer which had fortunately NOT metastisised. I was diagnosed in Aug 2007 when my bowel completely shut down and I had an emergency hemicolectomy. I then had nearly 7 months of chemo with a picc line. The chemo was tough but we got though it. I was left with some residual neuropathy in my hands and feet but it is slowly easing and I can deal with that. I am a teacher and I returned to work in April 2008. Probably about a month too early, but I mamanged to do 4 days a week. I have been lucky that my boss has allowed me to continue that for 2 years. everyone is different and everyone responds differently to treatment. Ask lots of questions, but don't expect definitive answers - there are none. I guess you just need to take each day at a time at the moment and deal with what is thrown at you (is it your boyfriend with the cancer?)It isn't easy in any way but many here have gone beyond their "use-by"dates and I for one am beginning to rellay get on with life again. I hope this helps a little, Samex ... View more

Hi Jill, Having had a friend deal with the same ordeal, I can't but echo Sangeeta's words. I have watched her and listened to her develop and change. She took the good things of Pat's life and has used them to help her cope and to take her life in a different direction. Her girls were older so the decisions are different, of course. It certainly didn't happen overnight and having, hopefully, helped her by just being there at times, I have witnessed what you are feeling now. I wish that I could take some of the pain from you - if we could spread it about, it would perhaps ease it. I hope our words help if only a little. Lots of hugs, Samex ... View more