My thoughts are very scrambled! My friend was diagnosed 3 yrs ago with stage 4 Breast Ca. 4 days ago they told her there are no further treatments. Hospital has restricted visitors due to Covid! (I’m angry, inhumane -have we lost empathy during Covid?) She is in good spirits over the phone, Is grateful for everyday she opens her eyes! I’m heartbroken and I’m scared that I won’t be able to cope with what’s to come. I feel enormous guilt that I didn’t do more. I feel like I have no right to be so upset, as that is for her kids and family! I can’t eat or sleep. I’m tired, and barely functioning. Work is my only release. Don’t want to see people, feel guilty in doing anything. Overwhelming Sadness. Something that I have never experienced before. I fear myself! I have 2 teenage girls that need my support now, and I feel so guilty and angry that I can’t pull it together. Angry that this disease hijacked her body! Fearful that I will never be the same after she’s gone. She has always been there. Making cookies together, then burning them because we got to talking, holidays, day trips, shopping and our love for Thai food. I feel like I won’t be able to cope! And I know she would kick me up the backside if she read this! Im not ready to confront this! Please let there be more TIME 💕💕💕💕
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