Hi MiniDriver, Very wise move….It’s a great choice you made.. enjoying your music, it gives you an outlet and will refresh your spirit. Don’t think of it as selfish, you need the time away. If you are refreshed then you are better equipped to help your wife and yourself through all of this. I got angry with the intrusion of cancer into my life, not at people just at that “damn cancer”. I just didn’t have time for cancer, there’s so much to do in life.. but like it or not, it becomes part of our lives. The support I valued most from my husband, was him listening to my fears and concerns, he didn’t judge…he sometimes offered advice… other times he didn’t… he just listened and held me close. When I spoke about my fears, it cleared my head and then I was able to work towards a solution appropriate for dealing with that particular fear. I would often ask him “how are you feeling” . I think he quite often gave me the edited version :) My advice to you, is to follow your wife’s lead, she may want to cry…or talk.. or just be alone for a time… you may want to be alone for a time also. Do whatever feels right for the both of you. Joining this website is a great move for you too, so much advice to be gained from both sides of the equation…. Carers and “us who have had cancer”. I wish I had known about this website earlier… sure would have made the journey a “touch easier”, I hope you benefit from this site. Reindeer xx ... View more