Facing my demons

[joyhoney]

When I was diagnosed with leukaemia in 2002 I didn't want to know anything about it. I didn't want to read about, research it, anything. One of the nurses told me I had my head in the sand. It's been 7 years - nearly 8 and last year was the first time I did research. I joined an online support group. I found out things that scared me, worried me. But you know what? I took it in my stride. For some of us, coping with the diagnosis of cancer is enough. Maybe not everyone is a scaredy cat like me. Some of us cope differently. I didn't want to know anything. Why know the bad stuff when you don't have to? Then last year I also found out good stuff. I read about a girl with my leukaemia who has been in remission over twenty years. That gave me hope. I researched my treatment options for if it did come back. And you know what, instead of scaring me, it prepared me...and in the process, I've actually stopped worrying about what will happen if it comes back.

[Sailor]

Hi Johoney Yes we all manage this thing differently - I never use the word cope, I manage things, it puts me in control. It is just as well, it would be a terribly boring place if we all did things exactly the same way. So I don't think that in anyway you have been a scaredy cat, you are just you and it is your way of managing the situation. I had a friend with leukaemia, she came out of remission for the the first time a few years after she was treated, it was the time I was first diagnosed and she had the office three doors down the corridor from me. She had more treatment, but always knew that from then on it was a matter of when, rather than if it, came back. We had some great discussions, some deep and meaningful, about our various prognoses. Two years ago it did come back with a vengeance, but she lived for four months longer than anticipated. The extra time allowed her to do a lot for the family, to be reconciled with her daughter, and to put her house in order. She died very peacefully. It is great that you have found out the good stuff and the options for if it ever does come back. Enjoy the interactionson this site. Cheers Sailor At sea, the boat is the professional and the crew are amateurs...Anon

[Jules2]

Hiya Joyhoney Although there is a commonality with the experience that we go through it does happen differently for everyone and at different times. There is no script for this one!! :) Julie