Just when you think you are going ok, things stabilise but I can't relax... because I know what's to come and it is wearing me down.. How do I be wife, husband, mum, bread winner, counsellor, social worker, sports coach, taxi.. etc? I'm can't enjoy the slight improve cause I'm waiting for the next downward spiral... I should be enjoying the fact things are stable... I'm trying but I know it can change like that. My walls are ready to go up, get in self preservation mode... or try to He needs me... to be his carer, his support, his connection to the world... but I just want my old hubby back!!! I need him and I know it's not forever anymore.. makes me sad But I still try to look for rainbows, still try to smile when my kids give me cuddles... Gearing up ready for the next stage... here we come. But I know some of you are going through it now.. some have fought the good fight, some are just beginning.. the solace in knowing we have support is so comforting. Thanks for just understanding... to my new found friends be strong.. take heart and dig deep for when the storms of life come... you're braver than you think you are. Wifeyb
Super Contributor
Hiya WifeyB I think carers often dont realise the impact that cancer or an illness with their husband/partner has on them. I remember what it was like for my mother when my father had a stroke. she instantly lost the man that he was and therefore she instantly started mourning the loss. Of course that was just natural and also the very start of the gamut of emotions she was to go through. I actually asked to see the social worker at the hospital and explained to them that they were looking after my fathers hierarchy or needs quite wonderfully, however, they had forgotten that my mother was one person. That one person was expected to take on jobs (like you) that normally a husband/wife/partner does not have to. You are only one person, so please reach out and get some help. The cc is great and has a few things in place to help out. Speak to a social worker and see what other things you can tap into to make this journey a little easier for you. Good luck. Julie
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Morning Wifeyb My mum is the full time carer of my Dad and what you have just written sums up everything I see her trying to hide from us. I was talking to her the other day about preparing for the next phase which will unfortunately be her living her life without her best friend/husband of 35 years, she asked me "what am I going to do without him?" It just breaks my heart. My response to her was - make sure that enjoy every minute together good and bad as they are precious but also make sure you have a bit of YOU time :-) Do you have someone there that you can have a coffee with? Someone who can take your mind off things even for an hour? I also agree with Jule2 that the social worker or nurses that provide support will be able to help heaps. Im not sure how old your children are and I suppose that I do this type of support for my mum. I sit inside and stay close to Dad so that she can just take a wander out in her garden and do the little chores that she needs to do. Life is a rollercoaster that has some pretty big drops in it, as I always think to myself just hold on tight. Take care
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