I forgot about me!!

[Bernie]

I recently put up my first posting on this site about having two sisters (who have sinced passed away) and a husband diagnosed with cancer. Apologies if it was long winded but I am never sure what I should write on these sites, so of course I write from my heart. I recently found a lump and change in my breast, which I guess at the moment I am trying my utmost to ignore the best I can! The fear is, what if..... A tiny bit of paranoia is there and already I can hear possible answers to this.....to get it checked out just to be sure or it is probably nothing but better to know now! Since my husbands cancer diagnosis, surgery (he refused any other treatment), depression and almost marriage breakdown, I have been the one holding up the structure of the family! I guess the real fear is, who will hold up the structure for me??

[unicorn83]

Dear Bernie, You sound like a very brave person. You need to focus on your health now and try and let go of some of that control. Try and look from the outside in and let people know YOU need support now. Let this site take some of the burden away. Katie xox

[SamR]

Hi Bernie, Be brave and get it checked out, the worry will only make things worse. I feel for you being the one holding things together and hope that you find the strength to get through this next hurdle. Perhaps if family realise you are also struggling they will start to "chip in" to help. Go well, and take one day at a time. Sam

[Jules_68]

No matter how bad everything is today, it won't be like this forever. You need to have this checked. Don't let fear be in control. Think about all your energy you save 15min dr's appt and tests, to weeks and weeks of fear. Trust me, it is a lot of effort and energy to worry everyday. It is better to be the brave woman you are and get checked. All the best.

[maddie86]

hey there, i to can relate to where your coming from.. having a spouse thats got cancer is really not easy.. then you strat to forget about yourself.. i put off my own health for ages.. ignoring when i was sick or needed some time out etc... its not good though! please go and check yourself out! i have also been taking st johns wart which has really helped me with depression.. you dont feel as teary all the time and feel like your head is a bit clearer.. best of luck to you 🙂

[Bernie]

Hi katie, Thanks for your comment...I don't think I am brave at all but thankyou...I am not big on asking for support, I have always been the one giving it. When my husband had cancer, I got on my soap box to talk about his cancer to anyone who wanted to know and I became emotionally detached, I think so that I could hide behind the talk and all the know..I don't feel as invincible at themoment and I do and will be more conscious of my own health.. Bernie xxoo

[Bernie]

Hi Sam, Thanks so much for your reply.. Takes an effort to hold it all together, as I would be only too aware of so many having to do that on here as well! You know when you have those "What the" days?? That was me....talking to a complete stranger is sometimes a whole lot easier then picking up the phone to call a loved one.... Bernie

[SamR]

Hi Bernie, Sometimes it does seem easier to talk with strangers on a site like this. I think that's because we realise others here, have first hand experience, by being in similar situations. Whereas we want to appear strong, capable and together for family and friends. Honestly though, it feels so much better when you do at least tell someone who really knows you, just what is going on and let them see you need some emotional support, even if it's just a phone call... it brings the connection back. Life in general is so hectic these days, we seem to forget to "check in" and really make sure our nearest and dearest are really OK, especially when they are the carer for another family relative. The caring role can get very tiring! I know the "what the" days, very well, sometimes it seems all planets are just out of alignment! Hope you're having a better day! Take care... and make the appt to get it checked out! Sam