Wow its been a while since I updated what's been happening in my world. * on 25th Oct I had my last chemo (only 2 days before wedding), I had problems with bloods that needed redoing, then I had my 4hr chemo, then I had an allergic to chemo and had to spend hrs at hospital under observation. So dinner plans with family (prior to wedding) were cancelled. * 26th Oct was filled with last min wedding plans and stress+++. The bestman drank way too much, I lost my cool and we had massive fight. He packed up and took off. We did all we could to fix that drama, I apologised but he didn't respond. Both Dan and I hoped things would settle and he'd show up at wedding (but he didn't - he boarded a plane to Perth and still hasn't spoken to us since). 😞 been very hard for Dan as he thought they were bestmates.... * 27th Oct Dan and I got married, we had an amazing day that was magical in everyway i could have imagined! Truly amazing, makes me smile just remembering the day and how I get to call the love of my life my husband. * Dan and I were blessed with an amazing gift for wedding 2 nights away just us and a very small break away from treatment, cancer and doom/gloom! We had best time, first break away since I became sick. * 9th Nov we saw oncologist to find out scan results and where to from here..... We received fab news the scans were cancerfree (yes u heard me right cancerfree). So the cancer hasn't spread and the cancer in chest, liver and bone has gone (yes gone). She was very clear this is not cured and I'm not in remission - the chemo has worked for now and this has bought us time. The cancer can and most likely will return in future. * I got my picc line out on 9th Nov and had a proper shower for the first time since my surgery (6mths ago), best shower ever! * I've started reducing pain meds and steroids in last wk - its been a massive up and down, loads withdrawal effects. But I'm staying strong and I wish to return to work in early 2013. * I've been mulling over our news and feeling very blah; hard to believe it is true. I've been plagued with mixed emotions - happiness, relief, fear, guilt and sadness. Why is it that I am blessed at another chance when so many others are not... It doesn't seem fair........ I will definitely need to learn to live with this news and reality that the grimreaper could be just around corner for us. But for now I will just continue living! "All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on". Havelock Ellis
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