I was to have an early breakfast of toast and tea at 6am. The fast after that, however I could stilll have water or apple juice up to 9am.


I was getting worried about my breakfast arriving on time, it came at 6.10an so I gulped it down, however, I dont think a few minutes would of made any difference.


I had showered using the antiseptic wash last night, and I was to do it again this morning before the op.  So i figured I would have a late shower and sit in bed and read magazines.  Hubby was coming up about 10am.


At 9am the Nurse came and took out the heparin drip.  A blood test had showed that my bloods were on the right level.


You are not going to believe what I did next, I looked at the clock, I had a hour before hubby was coming in.  I put on my clothes, grabbed a cigarette and went out onto the road and smoked that cigarette like it was the last thing I would ever do.  I knew this was wrong and I was riddled with guilt, I quit smoking in April, with the odd one here and there.  After finishing it, i stuffed my mouth with mints, cleaned my teeth and ate more mints.


I showered in the antiseptic, so that I would be ready when they brought in the gown/socks for theatre. Then hubby and my youngest daughter arrived and my son.


My son stayed a while, then gave me a hug said he loved me and off he went.

The nurse came with my gown, i changed into it, and she put on the socks, and the best part..the Pre Med.


Having the pre med relaxed me, my daughter and hubby said i was talking nonsense.  Saying I had two dogs at home, when I only had one, and lots of other jibberash.


Once my daughter left, it was just me and hubby, this is when i became scared.  What if something goes wrong, what if it has spread and he cant operate, what if i bleed to death.  I remember talking to hubby about this.


I was told the op will be about 3 hours.


Next thing I new I was being wheeled to theatre, petrified.

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