March 7, surgery to respect two tumours, one in the basil ganglia the other in the frontal lobe ( this one was respected last August). Post op, doctors happy with debulking result. MRI day 1 post op, tumour cells on the move, discharge from hospital, prn panadol. Re-admission 2 days after discharge, massive headaches, now on morphine. Discharge, this time on Endone. Prognosis, very poor. Re-admission another 2 days after discharge, massive headaches, again!!! I'm so distressed by my husbands pain, 4 kilos of weight gone, savings on PT gym sessions. Discharge this time with list of pain management and the biggest bag of meds I've ever seen. Told weeks!!!! Now home, had 5 days etoposide. Bloods good. Latest MRI, not good. Cells are global and times awasting. Stress about dying for us both. Husband is beside himself with grief, anger, fear. He stops speaking preferring to use single words rather than conversation. I'm lonely now. My husband has left me. Huge doses of dexamethesone, 16 mgs per day. He doesn't sleep, he eats all day and night and our intermate relationship now longer exists. Yes, there, I spoke about it!! Avastin is next......... We used to own a Nissan 370z now we own a wheelchair. I work, senior manager corporate Australia, he gets supervised daily. I coordinate our life. I juggle my work and I cry a lot. Oh this life is so unfair. If you've lived it or are living it, I'm here with you.
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