My father has pancreatic cancer, he is in pain, emotional and I feel completely lost as to what is going to happen to him. He thinks that he just has to accept what has happened and is happening and more or less just allow the cancer to take over. Of course I don't want him to do this but how do you tell someone who finds everyday a painful experience, that he must not give up? I have no idea what he is going through, I do not know what the pain feels like, I do not know what the nausea feels like, I do not know how terrifying it is to have your whole life, basically, taken out of your hands and handed to this evil monster that is called cancer. What right do I have to tell him to endure this, constant torture. I love him and I cannot do more than that. Not one tear I shed, not one ounce of guilt I feel, not one scream I allow to escape are going to make any difference to what is hurting him. I don't know how to react to something being completely out of my hands, when it comes to someone I love. I hope I never get used to it!
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