About DizzyDee

DizzyDee

Thank you so much for that poem, it is exactly how I feel. And thank you all for your kind words and genuine thoughts. It will be a long time before I stop crying for the loss of my Dad, not just because he is gone from our lives but also because of what he suffered due to this evil disease. It took away all that made him who he was, without mercy. I am angry, sad and frustrated some days more than others and at other times feel guilty for the smiles. There is a part of me that wants to make every moment count and another that has no idea of how to do that. I guess I am most scared of my life staying the same even though it is forever altered. I am doing a lot of sighing.

DizzyDee

Dear Seashell, I can completely understand how you are feeling. The anger and fear can be overwhelming. All I can say to you is just make sure he knows you love him. If at anytime you would like to chat, just send me a message. Unfortunately I lost my Dad on the 8th of May, but this site helped me so much to vent and just to know that others empathised with me, made some things a little easier. Hugs Dizzy

DizzyDee

I realise that the world will not stop because one of us has lost a loved one. But a hiccup or some small acknowledgment in my small corner of the everyday would be nice. How do we continue with the everyday mundanities, when our world has been forever changed. I am angry and frustrated because nothing has changed. How do we get through the ignorance without yelling and screaming? I want to stop people in the street and tell them my sadness, just so as someone I don't know can feel a little of what my family and I are going through. Now that my Dad has lost his battle with cancer and we have had his funeral, am I supposed to just move on? Is that what most of the world thinks? How many here have had to cope with the "Oh well, it is time for other things now, attitude" My friends are not like that, but in truth how long before they are over it as well? Losing any loved one is devastating for everyone, I know that and I often wonder how badly my compassion has faired for others in similar situations. How many of us think we are good people until we are faced with being the one that needs the understanding and question our own performances?

DizzyDee

Thank you all for your heartfelt words. The thing I am finding difficult now, is continuing. I am not thinking of not going forward, I am just not ready to just pick things up as if nothing has happened. My world has been forever changed and still the world outside is unaffected. I am still finding it difficult to come to terms with never seeing my Dad again. I thought his funeral would bring that to a head but it didn't. How is my Mum going to get by without him? I cannot be there every day for her, and I hate the thought of her sitting alone in her room crying. IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!

DizzyDee

Well at around 3:30 pm this afternoon, my Dad lost his fight with Cancer. I wasn't with him as I couldn't watch him die, but I did tell him how much I loved him and how he has always been there for me. Mum tells me it was peaceful, she kissed him on the forehead and said "GoodBye My Love" and he simply stopped breathing. We are all in la la land at the moment, it has not really sunk in as yet. I felt the need to write on here as it is the only place that truly understands. I am getting drunk and not really feeling anything. The world has lost a very strong personality. I LOVE you Daddy....may you now have the peace that this horrendous, merciless disease has robbed you of until now.!!!!

DizzyDee

Jill, It is hard to be grateful for what we have when one of things we have is cancer. This disease changes our whole lives and coping in the *normal* realm is not really an option. You are doing all you can in order to make someone you love very much, as comfortable and supported as you can. Please realise that, that is wonderful, brave and one of the most difficult things that any human has to endure. Give yourself a break to vent and relieve the stress...you DO deserve it. Many hugs and positive energies Dizzy

DizzyDee

I am sad today. I shall probably be sad tomorrow. But for all of you brave and wondrous people, I shall keep a smile tucked away. Just to remind me that I am not alone. I rejoice in your spirit.... xoxox

DizzyDee

Whilst visiting with my Dad yesterday, he got a much welcomed visit from a very old and dear friend of his. For the first time since this whole nightmare began, my Dad was happy. He laughed and relaxed and some of his old spirit returned. It was so wonderful to see. There is something to be said for happiness therapy, if only it could make the cancer go away. I just want him to be as happy as he can for as long as possible, a small wish in the scheme of things. You would think the universe would allow those in this kind of situation that. Yesterday was a good day. I can only hope for more tomorrows the same.

DizzyDee

Thank you all so much for taking the precious time out of your lives to answer me. I really appreciate all the input and cannot believe the strength that you all have. All your ideas are wondrous. Hugs an Positive thoughts Dizzy

DizzyDee

Hello Jewel, I can only imagine the turmoil you are in with what has happened, I think it is more the speed in which these things can happen that throws us more than dealing with the everyday. I can empathise with your shock to some extent. The best advice I can give you is, do whatever you feel you want to do...do not try to please anyone else. You are the one dealing with this, not his disconnected family. If you do not want to answer their questions then tell them. We all deal with things the way we can, so most importantly, ask for help if you need it, do not try and do it alone. I wish you strength and you have my compassion. Hugs Dizzy

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My Dad

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