Hi Choc, Thank you for your reply. Your right about being in a crowded room and still feeling lonely and wapwap, I've never considered that its the new normal and of all things I have heard this makes the most sense. Much better than people saying things get easier. Over the past few years I have been seeing a few psychologists after being recommended by the hospitals counselor. I have found that things may feel better for a few weeks but it keeps going back like it all happened yesterday. I'm just about to start with a new one at the end of this month... ... View more

Thank you all for your heartfelt words. The thing I am finding difficult now, is continuing. I am not thinking of not going forward, I am just not ready to just pick things up as if nothing has happened. My world has been forever changed and still the world outside is unaffected. I am still finding it difficult to come to terms with never seeing my Dad again. I thought his funeral would bring that to a head but it didn't. How is my Mum going to get by without him? I cannot be there every day for her, and I hate the thought of her sitting alone in her room crying. IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!! ... View more

Hi lanvs Very sound advise. I lost my dad 17yrs ago to cancer. My mum survived breast cancer 1996 & 2002 and now sadly has terminal, inoperable cholangiocarcinoma (cancer of the bile duct). She is amazing and always so positive. I get on the emotional rollercoaster and some days are better than others. She is doing really well at the moment (touch wood) and I must remember to continue giving her her goodnight hugs. I love her so much and am dreading the time that I will miss her. I am also dreading the downward sprial that I know will come before the end. I sometimes forget that she doesn't get as many hugs as me (I have a very loving and supportive partner thankfully) and when she is so well I tend to take it for granted - tomorrow I will continue with the nightly hugs - thank you for the reminder. Hope you are doing well. S ... View more

Hi I can relate to the sadness you feel.....look after yourself and keep writing how you feel.....I hope you can find something to make you smile soon. Take care, Willow xo ... View more

Hiya Laughter is so important!! We need to remember to appreciate the lighter things in life i think. Glad you had some in your day. Julie ... View more

Hi there. I know how you feel. I have had my dad with me the past 11 days and he has fallen and sleeps a lot but now that he is back home I really worry as he is on his own. I know when my daughter drove him home I was really sad but I still don't think I have recovered physically from his stay. But I would do it all again just to have that peace of mind that at least when he is here I know what he is doing. Like you I know dad won't be around much longer but I too think all will work out but deep down I know it won't. Everyone tells me to prepare for when dad goes but I just can't do that. Yeah everytime my phone rings I think "Oh no" How do we cope. You take care of yourself xo Chris ... View more

Hi Dizzy What do your parents want to do for their 50th anniversary, when do they want to celebrate it and so forth. Maybe 2 celebrations would be in order, one soon so your father is well enough to really enjoy say an at home party/bar b que which could even be catered for including set up, provision of tables/table ware and afterwards cleaning to save your parents on cooking and preparation. And then another on the actual anniversary to be tailored for your father's health. Anyhow let us know what you and your parents and others do decide. Hugs Deejjay ... View more

Hi DizzyDee, What do you think would happen if you didn't 'keep it together' when you are with your Dad?? ... View more

Hello Jewel, I can only imagine the turmoil you are in with what has happened, I think it is more the speed in which these things can happen that throws us more than dealing with the everyday. I can empathise with your shock to some extent. The best advice I can give you is, do whatever you feel you want to do...do not try to please anyone else. You are the one dealing with this, not his disconnected family. If you do not want to answer their questions then tell them. We all deal with things the way we can, so most importantly, ask for help if you need it, do not try and do it alone. I wish you strength and you have my compassion. Hugs Dizzy ... View more

Hi I'm sorry to hear about your father's prognosis. My mother was diagnosed in September 09 with T Cell lymphoma and we were given approximately 2 months. I was devastated, losing my father only 15 months earlier with mesothelioma (asbestosis) cancer caused thru his workplace and my husband, Tony, (47) has incurable bowel cancer. Sadly mum passed away on 03/01/10, 1 day after my 46th birthday. All I can say is be there as much as you can, make every second count, do the things that you've wanted to do with him while he is still well enough to do them and just enjoy every precious moment you have left. I will be thinking of you and your family. take care. Linda xxx ... View more