Why doesn't the world stop???

[choc2rule]

Hi Sailor, this poem was read by the young man at his partners, the old scottish guys, funeral. I do remember it and I still get teary when I hear it. It truly says speaks volumes about the love one person can have for another. Truly beautiful Choc2rule

[sg]

Hi Dizzy, it's my first time on here and your post lept out at me. I have lost my grandparents (who I lived with growing up). My grandad in September 2008 - 2 weeks before he was to walk me down the isle and my grandmother was diagnosed just after the end of my honeymoon, she passed almost a year ago. I'm still struggling to get through everything and cannot understand how to get through everything as I was my grandma's carer and we were all very close. I find that I cannot stop the tears and the world wont give me time to stop - and even if it did I don't know if I could. I find although my husband is fantastic and supportive and although he tries to help I feel quite alone and lost with no family around me. Unfortunately I don't have any advice like many of the others here but knowing your not the only one may help? I guess we have to try and hold on to the good times and try to deal with it in our own way??

[choc2rule]

Hi Sg When I saw your post I thought I might have some words of wisdom to give you but I was wrong. Nothing makes death easier whether it was 1 year ago or just 1 month ago. We all grieve in our own way. I would like to suggest, for you and only if you feel it is right for you , to have some grief counselling. I think you need it for you. Sometimes we can still feel so alone even in a room full of people, cos no one understands how or what we are feeling at a certain time. We will always remember our loved ones at different times and in different situations. Different actions and times will make us remember them and then the tears may come but it might just be sad thoughts and eventually, I think, the tears will dry up but the sadness stays longer. Lean on your husband and anyone who you feel comfortable with in your grief. Be gentle on yourself-cry if you want and laugh if you want. Our emotions are gifts from God. Let them happen. Dont feel you have to be happy just cos others around you are. Be the emotion that you feel. Be kind to yourself.

[wapwap48]

Dizzy I understand too. I even remember getting angry at the morning show hosts on TV after being told my 1 year old son had a brain tumour. How dare they even smile and say good morning? And then to feel even more emptiness when he passed away, 'how are you?' from the cornerstore checkout chick , well do you really want to know? Take some comfort in what you are feeling is totally normal. And I've learnt, and in alot of ways am still learning, it doesn't get easier; you just get used to the new normal.

[sg]

Hi Choc, Thank you for your reply. Your right about being in a crowded room and still feeling lonely and wapwap, I've never considered that its the new normal and of all things I have heard this makes the most sense. Much better than people saying things get easier. Over the past few years I have been seeing a few psychologists after being recommended by the hospitals counselor. I have found that things may feel better for a few weeks but it keeps going back like it all happened yesterday. I'm just about to start with a new one at the end of this month...