The Road to Somewhere

[Jac999]

I have found travelling around this website most inspiring and as a new member I thought I would just put a couple of thoughts out there. My radiotherapy is complete on 4th October. 2010. Having been diagnosed in January 2010 and going the maize of cancer treatment with chemotherapy, surgery and radiotherapy my new normal is starting to unfold. Many around me expect me to resume life as it was prior to January. They think that if I resume Life as it was then I must be in a positive frame of mind. Been giving this a lot of thought lately and I am positive but I have a new frame work about my future.For the first time in my life I don't have a definite plan and nothing is mapped out. Interestingly enough I was reading the local paper and a volunteer opportunity was written where a database is being created for contact on a monthly basis for the elderly and the isolated. It is being run from our local police station. I took the first step and contacted them and this may create for me a starting point to my new normal. A total change in direction. Is it only me that feels nervous about explaining my new direction to others particularly family and friends?

[Ginny41]

Jac999, I was very touched by your thoughts about creating a new normal. I have not been diagnosed with cancer, but I am positive for the HNPCC mutation, which means lots of screening. I've got past the nervous stage, but most people haven't got a clue how this impacts on my life, so I don't bother to try to explain any more. I have known about the mutation for two and a half years, and I have felt isolated and lonely - hence joining this website. I can tell you that from my experience with my daughter who died of Ovarian cancer at age 33 in 2002, and my sister with renal cancer in 2008, we had many deep conversations about their new realities, and it seems to me that you never return to the "old" you, and any major difference like this takes time and courage to absorb and get used to. I think your idea of working as a volunteer with the elderly and the isolated is brilliant, and I admire you for looking for something which will benefit not only you, but the community. So, "hats off to you" and I hope your venture fills the void. Before I sign off, perhaps you don't need to explain anything to your family and friends - just let it happen gradually? Good luck, Ginny41.

[Jules2]

Hiya Jac The new normal is one of the hardships of making it through cancer. Our bodies are no longer (mostly) as they were and of course that in turn affects emotionally, mentally, socially and often financially. Something as big as cancer impacts on us in sooooo many ways and the other side of that is we no longer find the 'small' things interesting or can be bothered with them. In some ways I have found the thought and also part of the process of starting a new normal exciting and in other ways it is frightening. I am out of what was once my comfort zone and struggling to create a new zone to live in. It is a slow process for me and one that I try and focus on moving forward with. All the best with your creation of your new normal. Julie