To all of you wonderful human beings

[vinouche]

To all of you who are going through such a hard time, my heart goes out to you. I have no words that can ease your pain, and it is a road we all have to cope with somehow. Reading Mrs Elton's blog shows me what my family will have to go through with me when the time comes, and reading Jodds77 blog, I get an inkling of what awaits me. It does seem surreal right now as my tumours have shrunk and I feel pretty good, but I know that sooner or later it will come and yes it does scare me. I wish I could protect my family from all this heartache. So I just wanted to thank you all for your blogs, because they do help in preparing ourselves as best we can for what is to come, as well as trying to help our family to cope with it all. My children have so much faith in me they believe I will beat this...........am not so sure although I will give it my best. So do not stop writing, especially if it helps YOU, pour it all out in the knowledge someone is reading it and cares. Take care all of you S

[Mrs_Elton]

Hi Vinouche, I do find it helps me to write about what is happening, whether anyone else reads it and/or responds is a secondary issue. I need to write to offload my feelings and empty some of the stuff that is going through my head. I use the blog as a journal/diary. I hope that it does not cause you added stress to read my blogs, that is not my intention. Take care and enjoy your family, Jill

[vinouche]

No it does not cause added stress, but as I said it does help see the road ahead more clearly. Once again thank you, and I hope your road is easing a bit for you. Be kind to yourself Sylvie

[CATS]

vinouche-thankyou, your words were very kind but remember you too have contributed greatly to helping us in our lives. I had a rude awakening of sorts when you wrote that you are feeling good and that your tumours have shrunk-but you know 'sooner or later' that will change. I am feeling the same - if you have read any of my blogs you may remember that I have been taken off all chemo for 6 weeks. I also have tumours on my lung and liver. I have never been given the all clear on bowel cancer - but I think it may have been eradicated-I still have pain and a few difficulties, but nothing like before when I was receiving treatment and of course before that! Yes- I too am scared and to be honest - very very scared - I do feel the best I have felt in nearly 12 months but if I had been kept on chemo, I still would have had a few more cycles left, so I was no where near finished. I really won't know anything until my next scan in June and it is getting closer and I am becoming more nervous. I am not telling my family or friends that I am scared - they are still reeling from the diagnosis in August last year - TAKES A WHILE FOR THINGS TO SINK IN IN MY FAMILY (that was meant to be funny!) In the meantime I thank everyone as you have - you have all been inspirational in my journey of trying to cope with one of the most horrid things that could happen to us and our loved ones. Thankyou all - I really feel as though the people I communicate with on a regular basis are friends even though I have never met you - I feel comfortable in your 'cyber company'. vinouche - let's prove our doctors wrong - let us continue to feel good and maybe the cancers will just go away - highly unlikely - but we do have wonderful families .

[Jods77]

Hi, Thanks for your thoughts. I wish I could have found this place earlier to be able to connect with such amazing people and to pour out into the ether my thoughts. I am amazed at how articulating it can stop the tears for a day and allow me to feel at ease. Journey's like this in life is what makes us, optimisim can get a little hard sometimes but Im sure it is what has kept my Dad and us going for as long as we have. Be strong Jods77

[samex]

For me, as well, I have found that I am not alone in all of this. Before I found this site, I often felt that I was going crazy and felt very cut off after my treatment finished. When I was on treatment I felt that there was at least something happening and while I couldn't wait for it to end, I then felt very helpless and isolated. I found this site and all of the peple who share this journey in one capacity or another. Too many (like Jill) have brought tears but many others have brought joy and hope when we hear of long term survivors or tumours shrinking. Perhaps the tears and the hoope are all part of this experience and I am beginning to understand what is important now. Cats, I never thought that i would have cyber friends for whom I seem to care so much either. What a strange and unique journey this is for all of us. Take care all, S

[Jules2]

I too read blogs and am thankful for people sharing in here and privately and in my case real life. My heart goes out to those who are not coping with their own diagnosis or having to go through the experience of losing a partner, sibling, parent .......... @ cats ... i think you should remember that miracles do happen as do strange things. I was given a month to live and that was 21 years ago and i am still here. I had an unpredictable cancer but it can also be very deadly, hence the month given to me. Not wanting to offer anyone false hope or anything like that but it does happen. @ samex ... i still cant remember that other brand of shoes ... its frustrating me! lol thinking of everyone Julie xo