To blog or not to blog - that is the question

[gn21]

Well, I'm 4 years in with Stage 4 lung cancer. And we all know there is no stage 5. I have been tempted a number of times to start a blog but it always seemed too hard. Plus I wondered whether I had anything useful to say. But this site seems to make it easy, and I guess after 4 years, heading into my 5th, I must have something useful to say surely! But what are my motivations I wonder? I guess like all of us I have a story to tell. And the need to reach out to others who understand that this new 'normal' can be a very strange place. So I guess I will start my story (I hate the use of the word journey - its more like a circus act without a safety net) and see what happens. But, so I dont bore anyone I will tell the story in chapters, trying to keep you interested in what happened next! Not that my story is different to anyone else's, other than it happened to me. Chapter One begins........ 54 years old. Regular runner, having just completed my first 15 k run (with my daughter). In the midst of changing jobs, but with a niggley pain in shoulder and on coughing. Helpful psychiatric nurse husband suggests liver cancer.... Gee, thanks. On an extremely rare visit to doctor mention that as one possibility, the other being hypochondria! She suggests there may be a few alternatives and sends me off for a chest X-ray. Followed by an ultrasound, followed by a CT scan. Mention none of this to husband. Change jobs in the middle of all this. Have over 30 new staff, all desperately needing a new manager and some direction and structure. Stay tuned for Chapter 2.

[Jules2]

Hiya gn21 I am with you on the journey - don't like it and never use it! I much prefer to use "experience" instead. Everyone's story is unique because we are all unique and therefore react and cope uniquely. It is always good to have people's stories out there so that others can see how others "deal/cope/manage or not". Congrats on the 4 year mark and here is hoping you get many more. :) Are you a smeagol fan? We told him to go away... and away he goes! Cheers Julie

[gn21]

Thank you for the response Julie. I used to do a radio program on 3 CR and the constant question was is there anybody out there listening? This is the same, so I really do appreciate your comment. Be gone Smeagol! Gail

[Jules2]

Gail I think we all question more than life when we go through an experience such as a cancer diagnosis. To be heard is a huge relief and to be heard by someone who actually understands and can relate is a bigger relief! So, keep blogging ... someone, somewhere out there will be reading and hearing what you are saying. Sneaky little hobbitses. Julie

[gn21]

Very true and insightful. Thanks for the comment. Say The Hobbit at gold star with my son a few weeks ago. With champagne! Gotta love it! Fully intended to see in the next 2 boxing days so I can see the next 2 releases! Gail

[Patriciasosk]

Hi GN21.... This is my VERY FIRST posting on this site and thought I would send a msge to you. Sooo good to hear that your 4 years on!! Yes, you certainly have something useful to say and encouraging for others. Yes, like yourself and many others, before being diagnosed with Endrometrial Cancer of the Uterus (in September last year) I was a very fit, healthy 66 year old (66 going on 26 in my mind!!) Positive and enthusiastic about life. Then the soup hit the fan - had radical hysterectomy in November, developed 3 blood clots (self injecting myself now). Went on to have radiotheraphy which finished 8 weeks ago. Need I say more - I had a very bad reaction to it, certainly not been easy!! Evidentally the cancer was confined to the uterus. Told my cancer was early stages, told by another that its agressive and told by another (Specialist) moderately agressive stage 3. (Another story) just seem to have got conflicting info. Anyway, not to bore everyone senseless, Im about to have another CT scan this coming Tuesday (my 3rd since diagnose)..... I am nervous about results as it was mentioned on last one 'nodules' were found on my lung and liver!!! (no real explanation). Tomorrow (Monday) Im to see a Consultant as I have pain in my rectum - my GP said its probably a polyp - of course Im a tad bit worried........Just the dark thoughts that begin to plague me from time to time. One minute Im positive, next minute Im negative and thinking the worst. Oh I just want my life back......but Im trying as I know its early days....