To those who stand with us.

[tfox64]

I just wanted to say something, especially to the people who stand with us cancer hosts - we love you and appreciate everything you do for us. Everyone asks how I am, no one ever asks how my wife is doing ... we know you are coping with at least as much as we are if not more (I dont have to deal with it and watch my spouse go through hell as well ...) Dont think that it you are ever over looked by us. From the day we are burdened with this to the day of it's eventual outcome, we know you are there with us sharing and supporting and we love you for it. And the stuff we have to take might make us seem different but know that from the get go you are the only one who truly knows what we have had to endure. To My beautiful Wife Rosetta, you are my rock ... XXXXXXX

[Robyn]

Hi Tony. Hope you are both going ok. It sure is rough watching your loved one go through cancer treatment. I went through it with my husband 3 years ago and now he is looking after me and truly knows what I am going through. We are blessed to have such wonderful partners to be by our side and support us during this terrible time. Hang in there and keep fighting, Cheers Robyn

[little_stitcher]

Thank you Tony. One of the really difficult things, as a carer, is to not be able to fix things. It's great to know that the frustration and helplessness carers experience is understood by those cared for. In the end, it comes down to us all being in this together, and that cancer really does suck as much as we all think it does! I'm wishing you many happy suprises. love Emily

[tfox64]

Hi Emily, thanks for your reply. Even at this early stage of my journey I can already see the helplessness in her eyes and the frustration of not being able to just do something to make it all better. The tiredness of not sleeping and worrying and still carrying on with life. She has to watch while I undergo this nastiness of chemo - even only after one treatment I can see it is going to really hit me as I am so tired nauseous grumpy plus I'm already losing my hair and she is going to have to cope with watching me deal with that and being unable to help me with it. And then she has to carry on living because the bills still come in. I love her to bits and I couldnt think of a better person to stand beside me but I lament the toll it will take on her and us and I know too that now I cant do anything about that either. As you put is the little c does suck BIGTIME ... Cheers - Tony F

[tfox64]

Hi Robyn, Thanks for your message - it is as hard or harder on those around us sometimes than it is on us. And you're right we are blessed to have such staunch partners to stand beside us in our battles. I hear the words "I am there if you need me, just call" many many times every week but there is only one I can truly trust to live up to those words ... Take Care Robyn - Regards Tony F

[kj]

tfox64 Very well written about the people who are there for us I totally agree best wishes to you both. kj

[tfox64]

Hi KJ, thanks for the message. Without my beautiful wife by my side I don't think I could cope with any of this ... Regards Tony F.

[Lynnedk]

Tony and Rosetta, Sorry this is so late - lost my love on 15/1/13, and haven't had the heart to get back on till now. You are so right. I don't know how they handle things at your hospital, but at mine it was all about Ray. He was the patient, and I was a nuisance. But he was only there for 5 days every three weeks - I had to deal the rest of the time. But love conquers. Hair loss was hard - when his started falling out, I cried. Then I shaved it all off. Practical stuff - he made me do it because he didn't want me to be upset. No 2 was his summer haircut anyway - just several months early. Really minor thing, even though it seemed important back then. Big thing, though, and it's what made me reply. Grumpy. Please just watch out for that, especially if they've put you on Dex, as it can turn into something bad. Did for us, hope it doesn't for you. I've been asked to tell the whole story on here, and I will do it, when I feel up to it. I know exactly what you're going through, Rosetta, because I've been there and done that - you still have to work, pay the bills, shop, wash, clean etc etc etc but your lover, husband, best friend, is having chemo. He's in their hands and they have all the control. I found that the "tigress" thing kicked in, and I'm sure you can identify with that. Didn't help, they were in charge. Helpless, right? Meanwhile, cling to each other. Lots and lots of hugs, please, and tell each other of your love many times a day. Stay strong in each other, Love Lynne xxxxxxx

[tfox64]

Hello Lynne, I hope you are finding it a bit easier every day. You have been in my thoughts daily, and sorry it has taken a while to reply - I have been dealing with insurances and chemo and just feeling quite 'ordinary'. Thank you for your beautiful message. I am indeed on short doses of the dreaded dex (only for 4 days during the 3 week chemo cycle) but I have noticed and tried to temper any intolerance I have felt. Forewarned and all that so thanks for the heads up. We are coping now though Lynne - staying positive and moving forward, just coming to terms with it all and the changes. It has still only been a bit over 2 months I have been "in the know" about a problem and a month since we found out the severity - the whirlwind dust is only just settling. I send you all the love I can muster. Take care XXX