I wrote in middle of November that I thought Stuarts journey was nearly over, well what the hell would I or anyone else know!!!!
Stuart went into hospital at the end of October and the palliative care team thought he had a week or 2 left, a month on the outside.
We are now into our sixth week in hospital and making plans and preparations to bring him home next week. When I made the decision for hospital he was sleeping nearly all the time, had urinary urgency night and day that was driving me up the wall as he could barely walk and I was on bottle duty. Then he started to just get up from his sleep, day or night, and just wee on the floor, our bedroom stunk to high heaven! Very small amount of speech.
Now after all this time in hospital expecting blessed relief from this miserable existence we are both trapped in I have made the choice to return home as I cant bear to leave him in the hospital so I spend most of my time there but I cant bear not being home for my kids. I feel like their childhood is slipping through my fingers.
It is a wild rollercoaster ride, one day he looks close to slipping into a coma and the next he is quite bright. He now can't walk or talk, just the occaisional yes or no. He is still eating well but having difficulty swallowing. He has a cathheter as the urgency was driving him nuts too. He seems to be in a plateau and it is heartbreaking to watch.
I wish God would hurry up and call him home.
