Worry wart

[YvieB]

Hi all Not sure where to start... it's been an emotional first half to the year with very high high's and very low low's. 3rd February - my darling proposed 4th March - appedicitis - ultrasound also revealed a 'lesion' on my left kidney 5th March - appendix removed 6th March - found out we were 4wks pregnant (had been trying for 5 months) 7th March - MRI 8th March - Results of scan showed an 11cm growth 13th March - radical left nephrectomy (pathology = T3 Chromophobe RCC weighing in at 715g) 17th March - home & in recovery 9th April - miscarriage 24th May - back to work (child care centre manager) and told by employer that i shouldn't book annual leave any time soon as I'd already had a lot of time off. 8th July - left my job - couldn't cope with the stress and high expectation I feel like my life has fallen apart. I don't recognise myself anymore. Physically I'm OK but I find myself feeling overwhelming sadness every now and again. We just found out we're 5wks pregnant again and I'm wracked with worry about whether something will go wrong. I can't help but worry that the cancer will return too. As many people have told me, I know I'm lucky... things could be so much worse. I just wanted to say it helps to read other's blogs to put things in perspective. Thank you! :) Yvie

[Mrs_Elton]

Hi Yvie, I am sorry to hear of your miscarriage in April and of course for the cancer diagnosis. I am glad to hear that you are 'ok' physically. I can relate to your fear regarding your new pregnancy, I sufferred many miscarriages and early pregnancy losses, none of which could be explained. When I was pregnant with our first son I was so afraid, based on previous experience, that something was going to go wrong. When I got to 9 weeks, I decided that I would tell other people as I felt if I kept it to myself then I was sort of expecting the worst and also, I knew I would need a big support network around me. I wanted to enjoy the pregnancy but couldn't allow myself to get too far ahead, we didn't even start any kind of shopping for cot/pram etc until I was 27 weeks along. I am now the very lucky and proud mum of two wonderful boys, aged 6 and 8, who were born after I had 10 pregnancy losses, (seven miscarriages and 3 ectopic pregnancies), 6 IVF procedures, removal of one of my fallopian tubes and I conceived them both naturally!! Now, after the loss of my husband and their father just 7 1/2 weeks ago, they are my rocks. They are my reason for getting up in the morning. I wish you and your fiance, congratulations by the way, peace and joy as you face this together. My very best wishes to you all, Mrs Elton

[YvieB]

Mrs Elton You are an inspiration Thank you and best wishes also Yvie

[WishingStar]

Hi Yvie, What a rollercoaster you have been on and all in just 6 months! You obviously have an amazing amount of strength and resilience. Good luck with the new pregnancy! Rest up and take care of yourself, Cyber Hugs, Nicole