Hi Phiross, Sailor and Julie, I havent been on the forum for a while. I popped on after having a particualarly bad day at work, after having to go back after one week post op after the third attempt at removing my facial tumour (I own the business) and am coming up to my two year check up for the brain tumour. Given the facial tumour returning, I was working myself into a frenzy about the brain tumour and getting all down on the world and had a serious case of 'the why me's?' Once again, Julie and Sailor have sage advice. Things do get on top of you from time to time. I struggle to stay positive even 50% of the time. So I aim to take day at a time, week at a time and month at a time. Hopefully, eventually, I won't live check up to check up and will actually 'live' in between checkups. Hope everyone has a little bit of joy this christmas, Nicole ... View more

Hi Phiross, Sailor and Julie, I havent been on the forum for a while. I popped on after having a particualarly bad day at work, after having to go back after one week post op after the third attempt at removing my facial tumour (I own the business) and am coming up to my two year check up for the brain tumour. Given the facial tumour returning, I was working myself into a frenzy about the brain tumour and getting all down on the world and had a serious case of 'the why me's?' Once again, Julie and Sailor have sage advice. Things do get on top of you from time to time. I struggle to stay positive even 50% of the time. So I aim to take day at a time, week at a time and month at a time. Hopefully, eventually, I won't live check up to check up and will actually 'live' in between checkups. Hope everyone has a little bit of joy this christmas, Nicole ... View more

Hi Via.Lost, I think Sailor as always has sage advice - does the army have counselling being that you are immediate family? Otherwise the Cancer Council may be able to help with councilling for your dad. But with the alcohol side of things - you are the only person who can help there. I have a close family member who is an alcoholic (and believe me they dont do themselves or anyone else any favours) - so speaking from the outside looking in - are you pushing away people that are trying to help?? Your GP may be able to help as a first step, depending on the degree of the problem. You may not need full on rehab, but GP's these days have a range of options and resources to help - but you have to be ready to make the first step. YOU - have more then enough reasons to be depressed and down right now - geez who wouldnt, but you have to make the choice - would your dad and brother want you to live in this state forever? or would they be wanting you to get on with your life? Only you can make that choice. You have a chance at life right now - believe me, some people would do anything to have a choice like yours. ... View more

FANTASTIC NEWS!!! 5 years clear is a massive milestone! Congratulations, Nicole ... View more

Dear Chris, I am so sorry to hear of your Dad's passing. I have also followed your journey. Please accept my condolences. Cyber Hugs Nicole ... View more

Hi Warrior Woman, Great to meet you. I feel we have a lot in common. I have an oligodendroglioma 11/111. But as I initially presented with an combined locally invasive facial tumour to the Royal Brisbane (over the xmas period in 08)I am also a country patient. I was diagnosed initially over the first 6 weeks from anything from an aggressive melanoma (nothing we can probably do for you, as I had just had two cut out (only low grades)) to an a variety of horrible facial tumours that had mets to the brain to when they finally found that the facial tumour biopsy came back as a Giant Cell Tumour (bascially one that just eats away your face but won't kill you) then you have an astrocytoma - we may or may not remove it after we deal with your face. Then after I started showing 'neuro' signs, I didnt seizure until Sept 09, the neuro dept decided to do surgery, but at the same time the residents were slipping me cards for a private neuro surgeon as I had private health insurance and basically telling me to go private (almost warning me to). The guy in the bed next to me had your type of complications. So I discharged myself and went private, had the facial and neuro surgeries both done privately- HUGE gap fees that I am still paying off 18 months later. I do have side-effects from both surgeries - my neuro put me on drug trials initially instead of radium as I had 100% resection - I don;t still don;t know if I am 100% comfortable with my decision now that I have some regrowth. I have pain in from the facial surgery, dental problems, no smell, and could still lose my eye as well as vertigo. From the neuro stuff I have migraines, and now epilepsy with grand mals and focals since Sept 09 (6 weeks seizure free at the moment.I have to work full time (not a 38 hour week - closer to 50hours) as I own a business. Good luck with your MRI - mine is not until August this time - already starting to feel the knot in my stomach building. I am 34 and a mum of one. I know what you are saying about the drain of despair - I try and drag myself out of it - but just keep getting dragged down into it. Nicole xoxoxo ... View more

Hi Mick, I think you need to talk to your family - they sound like they really care and are there for you! They might even understand what you are going through and why you have reacted the way you have. Give them a chance to help. They might be angry or hurt at first - but I am sure it because they are just as scared as you - this is uncharted waters for everyone. Just let them be there. I think it is common at some stage with a cancer diagnosis to push everyone away (been there and done that) - it doesnt help, just makes it worse. In some ways it could be good that the surgery is moved forward - less waiting. It is normal to be scared - downright terrified right now. Who wouldnt be? Let the people that want to help in - they are probably biting at the bit - waiting for you to talk. Thinking of you, Nicole ... View more

Hey Mick, You have such a lot of 'big stuff' to deal with. You really do need to get some professional help with this and I think your girlfriend might be the one to help. I am no expert. But it seems to me that you have one hell of a big op coming up in three weeks - there is one thing that is going to make that a hell of a lot worse - going cold turkey at the same time and hitting withdrawls in the ICU and recovery - I am not a doctor, but I am pretty sure that this is not going to do your remaining kidney or your liver any good. It is also going to have your pain receptors screaming for drugs - the narcotics the medicos are going to be giving you (what they will legally be able to give you with their pain relief protocols) probably won't be hitting the sides of what you will be needing for pain relief coming out of such a big surgery- unless you do this NOW and get clean before surgery. You are a fighter. Someone or something in this universe wants you to be here - otherwise you wouldnt of made it when you fell off that building, or when you have been through all the other crap in your life - YOU have to believe it and YOU have to do whats best for you. No one says it is going to be easy, you of all people know that life isnt all rainbows and butterflies, but only you can do something right now to help you get through this - or at least make it a bit easier. Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and that the ball is your court right now - there are people out there that want to help - you mentioned your family - it sounds like you don;t want to worry them, maybe they want to be worried - they probably already are with everything that is going on. Thinking of you. Nicole ... View more

So sorry to hear of your loss Linda, Thinking of you, Nicole ... View more

Wow Mick, Seems like you have been through a hell of a lot for someone your age. There are people that really would care about what you are doing to yourself - there are a lot of people on this website that have been through similar emotional times as you - when you are diagnosed - you feel like your whole life is just smashed up and thrown in your face and feel 'well why not', 'what does it matter now'. You need to make the decision if you are going to fight this thing or not. It isnt easy. We know that. Believe me - everyone on this site know that. But doing what you are doing is only going to make it harder. You know it - I am not going to lecture you. Just wanted to know that I have been there - it is a hell of a scary ride. I found the cancer council councillors good to talk to - you can talk to them on the phone is face to face is not your thing. Seems to me with everything you have been through before you are a survivor and well hell of a fighter. Thinking of you, Nicole ... View more